Confused

Quotes

2011-10-30T18:36:00.002+08:00

"If there is anything i am guilty of, it is that I love you and if I'm to be punished, I wish it would last a lifetime."

I'm still thinking how to add more "oomph" into this but well since I have neither a girl I like or girlfriend to test this on, maybe someone can help me test if it works :)

2011-08-09T21:04:00.002+08:00

First quiz of the semester and its not looking good already probably 7/10? Think that's on the high end already. Sometimes I feel I'm really stupid or something. Seems to just go downhill from there. Or ever since my econs, I seem to have lost confidence in myself. Sigh..really wished I was smart in studying though. At least the time i really do spend studying would be fully utilised.

Oh well! I'll just leave this post as a reminder to work harder I guess.

2011-07-19T11:01:00.002+08:00

Sigh, results not what i expected for Econs. Saw the breakdown of results after a request to review my results. Didn't do as well as I thought since MCQ portion kind of got screwed up. I can't believe a subject I was so confident in I got screwed in the end. Average WAM is 80 but that's only because my accounting pulled every other subject up. Sigh. One Australian is kicking my ass left right and center and I'm supposed to be doing well?

Please this semester let me do well, pull up my grades! I really hope I can achieve that. First class requires average of 85 WAM. Wonder if that's possible for a stupid guy like me.

2011-06-14T14:24:00.000+08:00

Getting thoroughly stressed out by my family right now. HD HD HD..yes I know I need to get that but isn't there a better way to support me when I'm already stressed about getting a HD? By telling me to just ignore everything and get a HD doesn't even seem to acknowledge the effort i put in. It's just adding on to the pressure to excel. Couldn't even sleep properly yesterday night for my today's exams.

Feel like shit the whole day. 2 more exams and I'm done with this. Can't believe I'm bitching like a little girl every time I realized that I did a question wrongly after the exams. Though it's only one of the observable ones and the rest seem to be correct, I'm just panicking all the time. Really hate this feeling.

I'm tired, cranky and highly stressed out right now and without emotional support it's really getting to me.

2011-01-12T09:33:00.001+08:00

黄小琥 - 没那麽简单

作词：姚若龙作曲：萧煌奇

没那麽简单就能找到聊得来的伴

尤其是在看过了那麽多的背叛

总是不安只好强悍

谁谋杀了我的浪漫

没那麽简单就能去爱别的全不看

变得实际也许好也许坏各一半

不爱孤单一久也习惯

不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西

感觉累了就放空自己

别人说的话随便听一听自己做决定

不想拥有太多情绪

一杯红酒配电影

在周末晚上关上了手机舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那麽容易每个人有他的脾气

过了爱做梦的年纪轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那麽容易才会特别让人着迷

什麽都不懂的年纪

曾经最掏心所以最开心曾经

没那麽简单就能去爱别的全不看

变得实际也许好也许坏各一半

不爱孤单一久也习惯

不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西

感觉累了就放空自己

别人说的话随便听一听自己做决定

不想拥有太多情绪

一杯红酒配电影

在周末晚上关上了手机舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那麽容易每个人有他的脾气

过了爱做梦的年纪轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那麽容易才会特别让人着迷

什麽都不懂的年纪

曾经最掏心所以最开心曾经

相爱没有那麽容易每个人有他的脾气

过了爱做梦的年纪轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那麽容易才会特别让人着迷

什麽都不懂的年纪

曾经最掏心所以最开心曾经

想念最伤心但却最动心的记忆

Very meaningful lyrics about life..but never knew this song existed till my colleague showed it to me :)

Time for pondering...

2011-01-11T22:10:00.003+08:00

All right guys, I'll dedicate a post for Taiwan during the coming weekend but for now just some random stuff.

Was stoning in office for the last hour today. Just suddenly felt overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions. I guess it was a multitude of factors ba...it's my dad's 1 year anniversary today (well according to the Chinese calendar anyway), some in the past stuff which i probably shouldn't have mentioned or kept thinking about, impending departure to Australia, this damnned sore throat which refuses to heal & the leaving behind of the people who shared the 22 years of my life in Singapore :).

Haha...it's kind of hard to leave all this behind..& listening to Sammi Cheng's 最后一次 now is just kinda snowballing the emotions at hand as I'm writing this entry. Mom just told me that my second brother asked if she was assured with me going overseas all by myself. Surprisingly she actually said she was very comfortable with me going, just worried that i might like the computer game addiction get to me and get in the way of my studies.

She actually told me that I'm the one she's most comfortable with me going overseas all alone because she believes that I believe in only doing things that i think are right. If someone tries to persuade me in doing something which i think it's not right, I never end up following. I hadn't thought about this before and thinking back it's really true. I'm not going to name the examples of course. She said my eldest brother is too emotional so he might humble himself just to accommodate others. Whereas my second brother is too sociable where he might end up in and endless cycle of partying and fun if his friends asked him too.

Heh, I don't know how true it is but in any case, I have to really moderate my gaming time and spend more time doing what i need to do to prepare for Australia. There seems to be so many things which i seem to be putting off & I think it's really a waste of time for myself if keep doing so. Well enough of this.

To Dad,

It's already been 1 year that you departed from us but we are still going strong despite of your absence. Many a times, I know that you saw me as the mirror image of yourself when you were young. That's why you always wanted me to succeed more than any of the other siblings or at least you believed that i would exceed my brothers in the future. Well, I don't know for how the future would end up, but at least I know that I will find my path in time & when that happens, hopefully, I can fulfill your expectations that you have had of me.

May i inherit the good traits that you had & not your bad traits.
Faithfulness to Wife, Loyal friend, Provider & Die-hard attitude.
Your faults i keep to myself to remind me what I should not become & my faults, I wish i had a mirror to reflect my own faults to try to correct them.

Wherever you are, be it in the heavenly kingdom or you being reincarnated, Dad, I wish you a happy and blissful life.

I will have the strength & will to put whatever I have written into actions. This i promise you.

In remembrance of my Dad.

Your Son,
Shangzhao.

Stress is piling

2010-11-12T18:49:00.003+08:00

Hmm..it's been really a while since i stopped blogging. 2 whole months :) Hahaha well i guess no one will know i updated this blog anyway..except for...the guy whose mom makes bitter gourd soup that is not bitter at all LOL!!!

Anyway, it seems that i'm getting more tense these days. Feels like the pressure of the impending overseas studies. I'm on this alone and it's really total independence. I sure am not used to being that independent. I like to rely on people for help..but it doesn't seem to be the case when i first go there. I hope a little anxiety is common in all the students going overseas..hopefully i will meet someone who can help me settle down quickly...and get me focused on what i need to do.

3 years in Australia, and if i do well..i shall try for masters instead of Honors since it's just an additional half more year than Honors. Should there be a company that wishes to hire me, I'll probably work there. If not then I'll be coming back if there are no Australian companies that offer me a job. However, the thought of really leaving Singapore forever is pretty haunting. I'll be leaving everything behind if i do make that decision. Mostly, it's my family, especially my mom & the great friends that I've made over the course of my student life. Just 4 more months getting closer to 3 months. Time is winding down.

Here goes nothing.

2010-09-03T01:28:00.004+08:00

Ah...oh well just update my blog i guess. Waiting for my brother's flight to reach Singapore so that i can pick him up...man he should just totally take cab...but then again midnight charge is horrendous...ah the irony. I'm going to fall asleep on the computer table soon haha.

Anyway, i guess i'm going to queue for the KPOP tickets with my friends. Getting the pricier ones seems more worth it...but i hope someone (you know who you are and it's also for your benefit LOL) will lend me his HDD video camera. I think nothing beats watching SNSD in HD :D. I just hope there are not too many crazy fans that'll take the tickets away.

So going to ORD in a week's plus time...looking back, i think my army experience has been somewhat enjoyable...except for the disillusionment with how the army actually runs. Being IC for the guardroom surely has taught me quite a fair bit. Sometimes, it's just really difficult to do our job when people push rank on you and you depend on them for help. Like what accountants always say, there's a conflict of interests quite frequently heh. Well, maybe i'm just not capable enough. I hope my understudy and the other colleague can do better.

Need to find a part time job soon. I hope the agent gets back to me haha...really need the cash when i get out of army. If not i'll be looking at 4-5 months of unproductive lifestyle before i head off to Australia. It'll be bye bye Singapore for close to 3 years...I'll miss my family & friends for sure. Singapore? Hmm...food for thought.

Signing out,
Shangzhao

2010-08-26T23:07:00.008+08:00

“Thank you” by Hirayaka Ayaka (“That Fool” OST track 6)

눈물이 흘러 넘쳐 올려다본 파란 하늘이
nunmuri heulleo neomchyeo ollyeodabon paran haneuri
My tears overflowed when I looked up to the sky
이렇게 푸르던 걸 모르고 나 이제까지 살아왔어
ireoke pureudeon geol moreugo na ijekkaji sarawasseo
I’ve lived up to this point not knowing that the sky is blue
　　　　　
내 마음 속의 있는 사막에서 차올라 오는
nae maeum sogui inneun samageseo chaolla oneun
Like the precious water that overflows in the desert,
소중한 물과 같은 사랑을 이제 영원히 믿고 싶어
sojunghan mulgwa gateun sarangeul ije yeongwonhi mitgo sipeo
the love overflowing in my heart is to be forever believed in

세상에 하나뿐인 그대는 어느 곳에 있어도
sesange hanappunin geudaeneun eoneu gose isseodo
In this world, you’re my one and only
나를 웃게 하네요 항상 나를 행복하게 하네요
nareul utge haneyo hangsang nareul haengbokhage haneyo
who can always makes me smile, always makes me happy

사랑합니다 나의 마지막 그날까지
saranghamnida naui majimak geunalkkaji
I love you until my last day
그대를 만날 수 있었던 걸 하늘에 많이 감사해요
geudaereul mannal su isseotdeon geol haneure manhi gamsahaeyo
I thank God for the chance to meet you

(Harmonica Solo)

다시 만날수 없게 되는 날 언젠가 온다해도
dasi mannalsu eopge doeneun nal eonjenga ondahaedo
Whenever the day comes when I won’t be able to see you again
많이 행복했다고 처음이라고 오직 그대라고
manhi haengbokhaetdago cheoeumirago ojik geudaerago
I’ll be able to say that I was very happy, my first and one and only

사랑합니다 나의 마지막 그날까지
saranghamnida naui majimak geunalkkaji
I love you until my last day
그대와 함께 할 수 있음을 하늘에 많이 감사해요
geudaewa hamkke hal su isseumeul haneure manhi gamsahaeyo
I thank God for the letting us be together

This is a super duper nice song. Soothing music with a soulful voice and meaningful lyrics...i really wish i could play this song for my future girl. Ah.. Haha well, songs like this just makes me want to play the piano better. Time to put in the hours needed to play it better.

2010-07-04T21:04:00.003+08:00

Well after a long hiatus, i still haven't had things to update.

Hmm, maybe the one regarding my university. I guess I'll be going Australia after all. Appeals for the local universities have failed. I should focus on my administrative matters now in preparation for the Australian trip. Hmm...there's lots of things to settle...but well...22 years in this country and the next 2 years would be spent overseas...i guess i won't be coming back Singapore to visit as much as it'll cost money when i come back. I seriously wonder if i'll be able to find a job in Australia when i graduate. I'm sure there are tons of foreign students over there. It's not going to be easy to beat the competition off...but I'm sure I'll have something to offer :). Going back to Singapore wouldn't be beneficial at all as employers i feel still prefer local graduates from SMU, NTU, NUS etc; spending 5 times that amount and going back to Singapore to find a crummy job is a total waste of money. I have another 6 more months with this country. Let's make it worthwhile shall we. I'll try to find the money to meet up with old friends :D Or...just liming kopi at the coffee stall isn't that expensive after all. 3 dollars including transport would suffice :D

In the meantime...2 and a half months more to ORD! YES!

SZ is counting down.

2010-05-03T00:01:00.002+08:00

Ah....two weeks of freedom...albeit by a stupid stupid stupid accident..still..i shall enjoy this freedom with joy! :). Anyway, it's about time i started updating my blog. With so much free time, i can't be excused for not updating can i? HAHA. SORRY TO MY LOYAL FANS ALTHOUGH YOU ARE FAR AND FEW! Let's get this started shall we?

Now...what has happened since Feb 28? I guess nothing much since then. I have been trying to avoid meeting up with people as much as possible. Frankly, meeting up costs me tons of money...and i need all the money i can get for now. So guys, don't blame me for being a hermit. I think in my case, i hope you all can understand. Which would be leading me to find someways to increase sources for wealth. (Talk about this in a while). BUT GAMES BUYING IS STILL COSTING ME MONEY! 50 BUCKS A MONTH! @#!#!@#. I'll cut it down somehow. Frankly, sometimes i don't even know why i persist in buying games...I'll just let it sit there and look pretty. I have games that are not even unwrapped. Tsk...waste of money. I want to sell off the wrapped ones. Ah oh well!

Haha...well anyway..university applications have all been sent out..just waiting for their replies. Be it overseas or local (hoping it's local) i hope they'll come soon. I want to be able to make a decision ASAP. And if it's local i guess the most possible route would be real estate if they do accept me. Then i can buddy buddy with YX in the real estate sector. XIE & WANG ESTATE MANAGEMENT PTE LTD CO. LOL hmm..i think YX will kill me for posting this but..hell with it. He's confined anyway :D. So far, UNSW and SIT replied. SIT i applied for the UNLV's tourism degree...i quite like the subjects they have in the course...perked my interest. Interview on Tuesday with them. I'll see how it goes. Another choice to go into..seems like I'm just trying my choices...but well....doesn't look like i have any choice right?? NUS PLEASE REPLY ME!!

In the meantime, besides preparing for my interview (which i hope i don't screw up), i guess i'll use my free time now to read up on some of the companies annual reports. Thinking of buying some stocks as a small investment. After all, just having a job in this current world is not possible to survive comfortably and whatever losses i make now, it'll be small and give me the experience i'll need for future investments :). Starting with 3K? Think that should be enough for some small investments in stocks. Let's hope I'll do well? If not, i hope i gain a good lesson. Let's see what broker i can use in the meantime...my brother has introduced me to quite a fair amount of them...ponder ponder ponder.

SZ IS BACK! :D

2010-03-28T22:26:00.002+08:00

All right i'll try to update over the coming weekend. Yes, i know how moldy it's become...but that's because i don't have the material for updates...haha been avoiding people..i wonder why. Back to the same old self? :). Saving up to 8k seems to be getting more feasible. Heck even still, it's very little.

Oh well time to book in..

2010-02-21T20:41:00.003+08:00

Ha. Haven't gone out at all for the past month or so? I would say i have saved up quite a fair bit. Which is after all in line with my current goal of saving 570 (because 70 dollars is my saving insurance) of my pay each month. If i can continue this then i'll be looking at 8k in my bank before i ord. Doesn't seem like a lot but well, every penny counts :).

I don't seem to have changed much, not desperately hardworking despite the need for me to do so. Not desperately grown up despite the need. Well i guess i'll just start from small changes right? After all it's better to complete a small project than to just simply conceive one. Like what i see in my friend's msn nick, "once you learn to give up, it becomes a habit". Haha, it's pretty true since giving up allows for an easier way out and thus you're more inclined to give up as you continue on your journey of life.

SATS is in 2 months time. I can say, it doesn't look like there would be a result for it. It looks like even if i manage to do well that day, it'll be around 2100? Which ain't good at all for my entrance into universities. I should really spend more time on it. Argh, games are really ruining my life. Why can't i just cut free away from it? Patience. Patience. It'll have to be so.

Haha..well for now, thinking about what i want to study is kinda headache. Do i continue in accounting? Or switch over to business. Trying to find out what i like is not that easy. For i never worked hard on accounting and thus i did badly. But, if i do work hard, does it mean i'll do well for it? I just feel like i can't connect with it. Maybe i'm just too dumb? Haha. Ah well. I'll never know what the future brings. Next, is thinking where should i go, i mean i can't get into local uni and the only other choices are Australia, Sim. Another option is Switzerland. My brother just told me there's a Switzerland fair on the 28th Feb which i would say never crossed my mind. I've looked at the advertisement and most of them are degrees in applied sciences and well as you know it hospitality haha. 1 or 2 of them are for business students so...it's kinda limited. Maybe going overseas would be the best for me. Singapore is just too comfortable. I have everything i want. My family, friends, and auntie lynn our family helper. I don't have to worry about anything as everything is planned and done for me. Going overseas would well force me to gradually be independent as i would have to plan for my own life..but the cost of going overseas is pretty daunting. According to my calculations i would require max 150k sing to study there. That's a lot of money. Even if i do work part time during the holidays, the most i can recoup is like another 50k. So it's still 100k. Damn too much things to look at. I seriously need to spend more time to look at my options. If not, i'll seriously disappoint my mom's faith and trust in me. Please don't let it come to that state. Please?

In the meantime, to all my friends, sorry i don't spend much time with you guys anymore. I would like to minimize my spending and that means forsaking many a thing. Hope everyone understands :).

2010-02-17T21:11:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the little updates so far guys. And yes i know how "depressing" it is to see my last blog entry haha. I'll find time this weekend to blog! In the meantime Happy new year to all my friends! To all those lovebirds who have no time for each other..especially joshua bin laden, hope you guys last. I'm awaiting the day for me to attend people's weddings :).

In remembrance of my dad.

2010-01-27T18:49:00.006+08:00

Hey dad...it's been 20 odd years that you have raised me. Yet, i did not cry at the cremation ceremony even though it would be the last time we ever meet. Is that a sign of being a unfilial son or just that i was hoping you are in a better place right now. For i believe in karma, and your presence on earth was garnering lots of bad karma. You cursed and swore at everyone, got angry for no apparent reason and made your family have no sense of security always threatening mom to sell the house and renting a house to stay in which made no sense. Even in hospital, you eavesdropped on other patients and formed your own mental image of them from their conversations, then cursing them to die earlier or that they deserved to die even though you have never interacted with them before. What can i say for your future reincarnated self if you continue to stay on in this world and live life as you did when you were still on this world? However, you were a good person despite your flaws. You weren't a alcoholic or gambler neither did you have affairs outside. You treated your friends well.

Mom was always worried about your health fearing for you all the time but you never took note. Either brushing her off or scolding her instead when she got persistent. In fact, she was worried that she would see your health deteoriate to such a state where you would be bed-ridden with crippled limbs due to your uncontrolled diabetes. Many a times, i saw you drinking sweet drinks like Nescafe coffee or 100 plus but yet you said its only once in a while. You never took care of your health yet you could tell your friends you always ate healthily. A very contradictory statement. One of the many that you would spout of the 20 years of life with you. You always asked us to think about everything we did, but yet when my mom advised you on things, you always said she thought to much and think for what? Now when i think of the things you said, it was funny to see you contradict yourself time and time again.

It's regretful that the 20 over years i've spent with you, there were not many happy memories to remember you by. You were very difficult to get along with especially when you kept things to yourself. Yet, when we asked you, you would scold us instead as you expected us to know your sorrows. Talking to you was like talking to a wall that constantly banged into you. You never managed to move anywhere forward but instead got hurt everytime you tried. Over time, people slowly avoided that wall as it was just impossible to go through it. Maybe you had too strong a sense of pride and that caused you to feel as if you were invincible. With that, you refused to listen to anyone thinking you were always right. Till now, even with all your friends coming to pay their last respects to you, i will never understand the things you did for it made no sense. You had a family that gave you no problems, your sons did not take drugs, commit robbery and what not. Neither did mom go around to waste your money or have an affair etc...you were debt free since the house was fully paid 5-6 years ago. So as to the source of your anger? There was nothing to justify it. I don't have any regrets about the things i've not done for you..because i never could get through to you. Heh..but dad, i hope wherever you are, you really are in a better place. We'll take care of mom when we can. Please protect her wherever you are and give us the ability to take care of her. The most important thing is to make sure the last worry being me, can grow up and stop causing her to stress over my future.

So take care dad, this is the final goodbye. Every year on 22 January we would visit you. Thank you for everything you have done. The good, the bad, it was nevertheless a good 20 years.

In remembrance of you, James Chia Weu Mok
Born 11 August 1949, passed away on 22 January 2010
Age: 60

2010-01-17T22:25:00.002+08:00

Haha..yesterday's dinner at Vienna was good. Didn't get to go kuishinbo cause i screwed up the booking but Vienna wasn't half bad. Managed to eat raw oysters :D That's a plus since i haven't eaten one for like a long long time..high cholesterol i know but i think i'm allowed to sin once in a while right? :D Haha after that went to watch soccer and play bang at my house. Haha well something different for a change. BANG! I wonder what's next week's activity? Hmm.

Slowly picking up studying for my SAT..think my english is far from being any good..

Argh..9 more months. Well..it's just god damn long away. And being the most lao jiao means the meat shield for arrowing. Oh well. Let's hope it'll be a breeze

2010-01-03T18:32:00.003+08:00

Haha so...ever since my leave started i've been leaving the blog to turn moldy or rather when i came back from Australia i just seemed to stop...well what can i say. I just didn't feel like doing anything. Wanna enjoy the good times. Haha but the 3 weeks, it past just like that. Kinda sad that it's over but well at least it's slightly closer to my ORD date. Wonder if i can get used to the 0730 to 1800 hrs kind of lifestyle. Probably not in the first few days haha. So a year has passed. The good times and the bad times. The good times are worth remembering. Some bad things which befall on people or me i never got to understand haha but lets sweep it all under the carpet. Ignorance is bliss after all.

Haha well in the absence of the blog entries, i bypassed hell lot of duties, enjoyed a good holiday in thailand(kudos to yx's dad), had a little family dinner on christmas eve, countdown the new year with my iDARE friends. Had a good sherlock holmes movie yesterday. Good plot they solved every single mystery. Fun fun fun of course not without parent's nagging and of course my dad's hospitalization. Well it looks like he's gonna recover but i think he won't control his diet when he gets out of the hospital. Looks like his diabetes is going to haunt him again. Tired of telling him to watch his diet cause he'll just scold us. What rubbish always. Oh well this rules out Australia haha. Retaking SATS again in May. Hope i really study for it. It's my last chance to enter a local uni. Haha though it looks just like empty promises to myself. Need serious help with the writing portion though. I'm really horrible with my writing.

Made many mistakes in the past year. Some well darn stupid mistakes haha(well you know who understands). I'll learn from that lesson. Haha some worthy memories i've had...and how i realised how i'm so not a good person haha well...i can always change right? Heh.

Well for new year's resolution, When i look at my father, i realised how much his bad traits and habits seem to mirror in me. I so don't want to become the person like he is. I want to change. Just do it. Haha in the meantime i'm going to keep this happy outlook going. It's going to be a beautiful day tomorrow. Even if it's not, i shouldn't dwell on it much. We should not get overly happy or sad when something good or bad happens. It's all part and parcel of life.

SZ is back to his army life =(

2009-11-30T09:55:00.002+08:00

Haha ohhh..how long has it been since i blogged a month and a half? Weeellll..it's a little lazy bug that's been biting me haha hence the slow updates. Anyway let's backtrack to my Australian trip. Well, Rockhampton is like a savanah. Hot in the morning, cold at night, sparse trees as landscape and lastly it's dry. I would like to curse myself for not bringing a camera. The R&R's view was good. Seagulls, fresh air, breezing winds, the vast sea and lastly mountains. Would have been good to take photos...kinda regretful. Although R&R basically we did shopping for like 8 hours...which was like the only thing to do there since they just dumped us at the shopping centre. Haha, but still it ain't so bad..at least i don't sweat like in Singapore. Maybe Melbourne's weather would be better & the lifestyle would also be better:D. Australia, Australia, if only i had the money to study overseas. It ain't so bad living overseas right? Well...Sim seems the only choice now...i am just damn lazy to study SATS to fight for my SMU placing.

Sunday is 21km...and i haven't run for like 1 month? Haha doomed i would say. I think i'll route march...grr..and i've been slacking in everything...ahh...when would i get this lazy bug out of me...

Clearing of leave is coming heh...friday half day leave then all the way till tuesday half day woot. Go go go!! But no one to go out with LOL quite pointless actually.

SZ has no inspiration.

2009-10-18T22:08:00.004+08:00

Haha wheee!!! Finally! Off to Australia! 4 months of monotnous jobs..i can finally get out that place..for at least a month. Needed a change of environment. At least i got it :D. So i'll be gone for 3 weeks...well let's hope no one misses me (I'm sure there aren't many who will miss me just the selected few :) ). I'll be back for fun! (Well unless i'm glued to the computer with the 3 upcoming games i'll get when i'm back keke) Meet ups for everyone..hopefully people arrange! If not i'll have to initiate haha.

Nougats for my close friends! Well..i hope there are any in shoalwater bay. If there aren't well..i'll think of some stuff tim tams? Haha damn..

Someday i'll meet a totally awesome friend who shares the same interests as mine. Vulgar yet at the same time sophisticated. I know it's kinda like a paradox but still it'll be cool having a friend who plays the same games as me, goes to the same plays or shows i like to go too, and who totally watches the movie i want to watch haha...sounds too good to be true? It's too movie like heh.

The boy who got lost and never found his way.
Will he ever find his destination?
Will he be willing to strive for it?
To be a man?
Questions questions, ah.

SZ thinks too much instead of working on it ha!

2009-10-11T21:32:00.003+08:00

Haha long weekend i had since i took off! But didn't do much except stay home keke...damn and i psed yx and gang LOL! Well..busy with wallaby prep..seriously hate the preparation. Must make sure no mud no threads no sand etc...gosh..do they really bring viruses to their country? Argh..tomorrow's the inspection and i'm the IC for it...well shouldn't be any problem haha!

Well i want to eat at Prime Society on Saturday before i leave on Monday! Must keep Saturday free! Nougats for everyone :D

1 more week to leave...FM 2010, Dragon Age and Borderlands coming out...must keep track of these few games :D

Another monotonous week in camp. It's getting me down. Getting dumb staying in the guardroom. This overseas exercise would do me some good haha. Just 3 weeks to refresh!

2009-09-27T20:55:00.002+08:00

Arghh..stamina is getting from bad to worse...and i feel tired all the time...even though i get more or less 7 hours of sleep a day...still feel tired...something's seriously wrong with me...ergh. I have no idea what's sapping away my strength...i think i'll cut down on playing psp liao haha..its too eye strenous.

Peaceful weekend...basically only important thing was attending a long lost polymate's birthday party...heck went too early damn it....all the people i know were late...and i sat around for 2 and a half hours doing nothing haha. Well at least i tried initiating conversation with her cousin. Other than that. STONE! haha..

Woo next week is hossan leong's show...time to enjoy or at least i better enjoy...haha...

3 more weeks to Australia...and i haven't packed yet. I shall slowly take my time :D Just need to ensure there's no dust or anything...Oct 12 inspection..i shall be ready by then keke.

All right time to book in..1 more hour. Apart from my sunburn from tennis everything's good to go :D

Friday COME FASTER PLS!

SZ is pondering...

2009-09-21T21:01:00.003+08:00

LOOONNNGGG Weekend! haha..but was totally not in the mood to go out. Felt like i was having fever but yet it just came and go. Whole body aching and i don't even know why. Exhausted..from what lord knows. Headache...maybe it's from sleeping too much. Ulcers in my mouth...totally hard to talk...chewing is also another problem haha...what a wasted weekend. Didn't RUN the whole god damnned week. Getting unfit..there goes all the little progress i had with getting into condition..and what not with all the oily and fatty food i've been dumping into my body...it's quite bad. Back to square 1. Errgh. 3 more months to 21km run...can i get fit in time? argghh!

PS like.. 2 groups of people? Left abruptly after a bdae party...and to my MP friends sorry man haha...i really wasn't feeling too good yesterday. Slept at like 9.45? haha. Didn't want to get a full blown sickness.

Now...to add more activities to the list that YX has...haha..but whether everyone will agree on them...its another thing altogether.

At least it's a short week. 4 more days :D I must Gym and run at least once in camp!

HURRY UP RECOVER U STUPID EXCUSE FOR A BODY!

I've been getting damn lazy..including my duties...damn...time to settle some of the stuff....clear up the con wire and indent more 1.5v batteries!

2 more weeks to Hossan Leong's Talk show...let's hope it'll be good..if not 43 bucks down the drain.

SZ needs to juice up his batteries like the ones in the searchlight.

2009-09-13T21:37:00.003+08:00

Haha..okay ET's gig was pretty good...abelit a little too loud for comfort but still great playing by his band. ROCK ON! Haha...home club is a little empty i would say...but the outside ambience for drinking ain't half bad. Singapore river just opposite with the arts house. Colonial buildings sure just seem so classy..and familiar at the same time..

Comex is really nothing much unless you have things that you need to buy from there. If not then it's just a place where it's overcrowding with people and that's quite uncomfortable. Besides it's a sinister plot to get people to buy stuff that they never knew they need in order to "stimulate" the economy. What not with the deals and discounts in Singapore currently right now, it's quite scary.

Chomp chomp's food quality sure seems to be dropping..well..frankly i really only eat there becos of the egg tau huay..it's the only thing that still attracts me to that place :D PLEASE DON'T MOVE! Haha..unbelievable. Dropped the fan on my toe yesterday..apparently the stand was not connected with the fan itself...so it just dropped on my toe when i lifted it up...ouch. Sign of bad things? Sure it did..Arsenal lost 4-2..crap....slowly things don't seem to be looking well. Ah..

It's back to another week in camp...i hope nothing bad happens...i'm waiting for the long holiday due to hari raya :). More birthdays in the coming weeks. Good to meet up.

SZ wants to eat SANDwich in Shoalwater Bay

2009-09-05T22:55:00.005+08:00

Whew...the stores are finally up in the container :) I can finally take a breather. It's been a busy week. The stress will come when i'm in Australia dealing with the stores, nsmen and most importantly the BSM. Haha..let's see how i cope with it. 1 month & 2 weeks before the departure :D. Now I need to tie down the adminstrative stuff in the guardroom. If not..i fear the worst haha.

Next week is gonna be pretty much relaxing since thursday and friday is IPSC training for the recruits. At least maybe now i can go gym or running earlier so that i can sleep early :D. Somehow i just don't seem to be getting enough sleep...always feeling exhausted. Ah let's see how it goes.

I wonder do people wake up crying when they don't feel like crying at all? That's what happened to me on friday...and i have no idea why haha. I was just suddenly jolted from my sleep and realised tears were streaming down my eyes...how queer because i sure didn't feel any sadness or worries when i woke up. Hope it's not a sign something bad is going to happen.

It just seems to be the same old routine for going out especially for the poly friends. We seem to be unable to find anything else to do besides eating haha...too many differing interests i guess? I've been suggesting rochor tau huay and you tiao but it seems like it's rejected :(. Haha oh well. First time at dempsey hill yesterday. I think the ambience there is nice. Peace and quiet. Perfect place for chilling especially over a mug of beer or some alcoholic drink haha. Next time when i'm working, i definitely want to go to jones grocer. Buy the savarian truffle cheese and bread and just eat them together. Add a glass of wine and Yummy :D. Future eating habits :) A bit expensive but worth it once a while. Haha B&J at Dempsey is a pretty good place. There's even a live band there when i went. First time there and it was quite a good experience haha. Only problem is the seating. We were seated at the back and blocked by the counters. Couldn't see the band...this reminds me of the time at Timbre. BAD SEATING ruins my mood for live bands grrr. It's a good place for dessert. I'll go back again in the coming weeks :) And seriously is my taste getting that bad? No one seems to agree with my taste in women. Gosh haha. AND TO CHRISTINE I'M SURE THERE'S SOME OTHER NAME BESIDES CALLING THE ATTENDANT A DOOR BITCH. :)

Today's birthday dinner celebration for YX haha. YingTai restaurant. Good place for thai food despite the prices. Makes me want to go back Thailand again for the food! YEAH!!! Haha maybe december i'll go with YX. Tag along and see his new house haha.

Friday is home club time haha...let's see how well ET's band plays. Hope it's not too crowded. Home club is indeed pretty small.

Argh time to sleep..tomorrow's guard duty and i'm the guard commander...seriously what's the point of me choosing guard 2 when my csm just changes it at his whim. I need a good break from all these shit. Damn it.

I want more weekends!

A full moon arrives.
A little boy seats at his rooftop,
Admiring it's beauty.
It's so far away.
He wishes he could fly,
for he could touch it.
Alas, it's naught to be.
So he shall watch it from afar.
Till he has breathed his last.

SZ wants to lie on bed the whole day.

2009-08-30T19:04:00.004+08:00

The weekends are getting shorter Arghh!! And next Sunday is my guard duty so it's going to be even shorter..i need a break. Wallaby's stores are taking up too much energy and time. I hope i can get it over with quickly..it's really draining.

35 Hours of duty and only 7 hours of sleep haha...is this what the Specs have to live with when in army? Had to stay awake after duty in order to pack Wallaby stores. At least it's training my responsibility and accountability towards my men and fellow colleagues. Hope it helps in my future job! Well the mentality i gain from it that is haha.

Tuesday was spent on running...argh..slow like mad..how can i ever complete 21km..3 more months! PLEASE MAKE IT IN TIME!

Haha friday went to home club and opened a bottle of Ukita Whiskey....damn..37 bucks gone just like that. All i wanted was some Asahi beer! Haha a bottle of whiskey shared amongst 4 people is quite sair i would say. Saturday was pratically spent stoning at home. Didn't feel like doing anything haha. Just wanted to lie around and waste time :P Well at least mustered some energy after my afternoon nap to go watch Scandal maker and soccer at night which got me a $30 fine !#@!#!@# stupid parking coupon! ARGH. Scandal maker was good i would say haha..i mean well besides the mother being very cute, and the little kid was downright adorable, the storyline was pretty good. Haha imagine being a grandfather in your early 30s...that's quite funny :D It was pretty predictable how things were going to end up but it was a heartwarming comedic movie that kept me fully glued even when i had to use the gents terribly :). A++ Recommended.

Slept like a log after reaching home from the match. From 4 am to 2.30 pm Haha! THE ULTIMATE TIREDNESS but considering i haven't really been sleeping for the past few days..i think it's just a matter of my body trying to rejuvenate itself. And i haven't been going to the supermarket for grocery shopping haha..let's hope supplies can last. Anyone want to do some grocery shopping on Saturday? Haha..it's a lonely lonely job!

Upcoming Friday at home club to listen to ET's band playing. Let's see whether they are good. Besides that Saturday is still empty..let's see how i'm going to fill it up.

Argh having writers block...my brain is totally fizzed out. REST!

SZ is just going to sleep his way through when he has the time.

2009-08-23T21:25:00.003+08:00

Whew...long weekend...but i would say i didn't rest much haha...been sleeping late for the past few days..i didn't hit the 10 pm to 2 am recovery periods :(. Probably that's why i feel so tired recently...spent the whole sunday afternoon sleeping. Total knockout and if my brother didn't wake me up to go out for dinner today i would have probably slept like the whole day haha. Dinner was pretty all right..only certain dishes struck a chord with me. The rest were pretty normal i would say. Only the steamed fish and beer cooked pork ribs were special i would say :) Expensive dinner too.

Let's see Friday was pretty good haha morning was spent playing soccer..managed to get a little tan :). After that went home for a nap and at night went to Timbre. Finally able to meet Abner (DOH why did i leave the birthday card in your bag). Pizza's good as usual and the Tapas dishes are good too :). Whoever wishes to try Hazel Liq and Almond Liq combined..go ahead and try Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...it's a ultra weird taste...didn't really like it haha. So no prizes for people who are actually daring to try. Anyway, we didn't get to enjoy much as our seats were quite far away from the live band...so we didn't really get a very good view of the band. Didn't manage to enjoy the music that much haha...never mind i'm sure the next time i go would be better (this coming friday again?). Caught Bruno as a midnight movie. I would say it isn't as nice as Borat...haha or maybe i'm just not that comfortable seeing gay scenes on live screen? It's quite a crude movie but nevertheless i think it isn't that bad a movie. Anyway, there aren't any better movies around for now..unless i catch District 9. Seems to have pretty good reviews despite the supposedly low budget of 30 million(low compared to other movies?) Caught Where got ghost during the week. Jack Neo could have produced much better movies than that. It was a total waste of money so people please don't go watch it in cinemas. Save your 8 dollars to eat at Subway instead :) Mmmmm...subway....yummy

Ahh Saturday...the best day for going out for every single human...well...didn't get to do much as morning was spent on dental. Horrible tightening of teeth. The wire was changed to a thicker one and some rubber with little holes on them was slowly stretched across my teeth. I can hardly chew now. Especially on the right side of my mouth..pratically no strength to chew...even grinding is pretty difficult. The agony of wearing braces!

Dinner at paramount hotel was pretty good. It's like buffet for Zi Char but in a classier setting. Of course the food there was pretty good too haha...and since they offered Salmon Sashimi, of course i helped myself to them haha. Pig? Check. Fattening? Check. Fail 21km run? Maybe haha.

Oh yeah i went to sign up for the 21km Standard Chartered Run. Haha at least now i have company either Christine or Nick? But i don't think he has registered for it yet. I would most likely be able to complete it..but whether i can run a decent timing for it is another thing altogether haha. Well at least i would get a rough feel of how it's like when i run till the end of ECP and back on Tuesday. Doomsday :) Plus going Wallaby..don't know whether i can train there..hopefully i can...hopefully...once i get back from Wallaby..i'll be having quite a fair bit of free time :P CLEARING OF 14 DAYS OF LEAVE BY THEN! Maybe a trip to Thailand in December? :)

Like a trend, I come and go...remembered and forgotten just as quickly. If i could make one wish and that wish allows me to wish for anything that i want. Wealth, power, health etc, all i would do is just wish to be able to look into your mind and know what you think or at least learn of the truth haha. Such a simple wish isn't it? Yet, if you look at it carefully, understanding the human mind is more complex than wishing for something as simple as wealth. Social interactions are difficult. 10 years of gaming hasn't helped much to develop my social skills. Who to blame? Only myself to blame. I wished i could learn from the experience...but not knowing what i did wrong or right, i have no way of learning haha...i'm miffed but still, it's part of life.

Past, Present, Future.
The Past is your teacher.
Present your Lover.
Future your dreams.
Learn from your past,
cherish the present,
and chase after your dreams.

That's what that makes us unique in our own way. Our past are all different and they shape what we are like now hence, we have our own peculiar ways and methods of dealing with things haha. It's exactly like the term we reap what we sow.

I still believe the world is a simple place if we all believe in it. Humans just like to complicate things.

SZ is a lazy pig!

2009-08-16T20:27:00.011+08:00

Hahaha excellent first start of the season. Arsenal's 6-1 thumping of Everton has never felt better. Fabregas has some additional tricks in his sleeves now...time to get the new Arsenal jersey and print his name on :D. I hope he never ever leaves Arsenal. He's the one who can bring us up. We cant lose him yet..4-5 more years at least?

A year of AHM wasted on car parking which didn't even require my presence. The change of plans to free parking definitely didn't require my help at all. I would have so much preferred to go run that 6km though it's a little bit short on distance. I'm going to Fk care army protocol for the next AHM...i don't see why do i have to clock 16km of training if i'm training on my own. Besides i'm doing guard duty every single day..how am i supposed to go for the army training for AHM? Hopefully i can run the 21km before my ORD. Let's consider next year's AHM as my ORD gift? Next year ain't guards that is organising the AHM so i'll be free bwahahha. 1 year to train..it shoud be more than enough right? hahaha...any interested parties wish to train this fat lump of lard? Joshua? Hahaha Ex Diver help me :)

Let's see the schedule for the week...gym on monday, run/swim on tuesday, swim on wednesday again if we're not going for nights out. Thursday book out and run :D Challenge the mountain again. This time i'm clocking timing. Friday hmm. Promise yourself not to get lazy Mr SZ

Friday one full day of off what to do what to do...decisions decisions. Well i shall find some things to do i'm sure :). Dinner probably meeting up with Josh..unless he's busy well...let's wait till then.

Back to the good old days of grocery shopping...with mom not around i have to buy groceries again haha. Also, back to accounts training....this time i must keep the reciepts hahaha..threw all those away last time...making my mom pek chek i would say.

In the meantime, every week gone is a week closer to getting out of the army haha. 1 month to my 1 year anniversary in army. Time should fly. After that month leaves only a month to Wallaby. 3 weeks in the savanah...shouldn't be that bad right? Besides mom isn't around so i don't think she should miss me haha.

Andrew Furmanczyk. Hopefully you can teach me how to play the piano. But i guess no matter how good a teacher you are and that your lessons are free on youtube haha, it still requires hard work to learn. Don't get lazy SZ promise yourself.

Haha Kiki is crawling into my hand more often..she's getting used to my smell i would say even though i only get to play with her over the weekends. I'm going to adopt one dog even if my mom kills me for it haha. This will only come into play when i ORD...if not it's quite selfish to adopt one now...can't even take care of it when i'm in camp all the time. Well that's a thought. 1 years time.

I've broken alot of promises in the past but i realised how people get disappointed when you break them especially to my mom and friends. Do you want to disappoint yourself? Haha do not onto others what you do not want to be done on yourself. This age old saying sure sounds true. I need to start living a more fulfilling life..if not my self worth is practically making me a bankrupt. Learning new things should make my life more enriching right? This life can only get harder as we grow up... i must move up the next level if i want to continue surviving. The world isn't as beautiful as i thought it was. It's cold, harsh and cruel. Everytime you gain from it, it'll crush you and take away more from you. That's why we have to be fighters...keep fighting till you have breathed your last that's when you can stop. Time to stop being the naive little boy...learn to protect yourself. Haha penny for the thoughts...one day looking back all these entries, i shall know how have i changed. These entries shall be the testament of the fact that i've lived.

Booking in to another week. Time to step up the responsibilities.

SZ is trying to occupy his mind from wandering.

2009-08-14T23:44:00.003+08:00

Ahhh 2 rounds around the Mt Vernon route...it's not a long distance but it sure is tiring haha...my stamina is bad i would admit...that probably comes from 16 years of inactivity thus not developing any cardiovascular strength....well i'm pretty sure the macdonald's i chowed down when i was younger assisted the bad stamina :D

In the stillness of the night,
a lone figure cuts through the dark.
The musky air surrounds him,
but he busies his mind with his thoughts.
Communicating with his heart,
he presses on,
telling himself not to give up
The last gasp of air,
for the final burst of speed.
Lo and behold,
he reaches the final point.
Though tired & exhausted,
he cannot help but feel a sense of achievement.

I must continue this running habit for the next 2 weeks haha..at least 2 times a week or more. Promised to run with my upperstudy from camp till the end of ECP and back before he goes on his ORD leave...that's a LOT of KM hahaha...i shan't give up on it. A promise is a promise :D. Although i'm going to die fulfiling this crazy idea of his, it's one of the last few times i can see him. He has taught me a lot on my job. It's time to step up and take over his place in time. 1 year 1 month left to my ORD date haha...it should pass by quite quickly. I hope.

SZ is going to go into snoozing mode. More updates tomorrow :D

2009-08-14T21:38:00.002+08:00

Arghhh...Timbre trip got cancelled because yes...you guessed it abner again haha..why thank you ABNER!! hahha well at least next friday i have one full day off for AHM. I obviously will not get to participate since MPS are almighty and need to be helping out for every single minor thing and that includes car parking...even though i doubt it requires us to personally be at the car park...oh well. 3.30 am i have to reach Singapore recreation club on Sunday...yes...it's damn bloody early i know. VIP guests includes well DPM himself so it'll be interesting the meet the man himself face to face haha. Well i can always go straight away after the Arsenal match :) PLEASE WIN AGAINST EVERTON!!

Let's see tomorrow should be a packed day haha...don't know about next week though. Let's see how it goes..hmm.

Chomp Chomp for dinner tomorrow wahhaha it's been a while since i went back. Time to bring my upperstudy for his first meal there.

The sudden awakening,
realisation of truth.
The liberation within,
the ambiguity that worries.
Momentary pain,
lifelong freedom.

Which would you choose? :)

Mmmm free time free time...what should i do? Pick some skills up? Hahaha...buy an OVEN first Mr Procasination...what happened to your baking hobby lazy pig. Determination...that's what i lack goshh.

Anyway it's 10 oclock...time to challenge Mt Vernon again...running beside a columbarium at night...that should keep me on my toes :D Especially with the poor lighting there...even better for creepy ghoulies :)

SZ has never felt better!

2009-08-10T18:23:00.004+08:00

Ahh few more hours to book in..and i just went for a short run...Mt Vernon can seriously kill me...haha never ending hill!! Errgh..i shall conquer it twice when i'm fitter hehe...it seriously trains my legs. Haha at least it gets my mind off things.

Mom is leaving on wednesday for 3 and a half months to Myanmar haha this time half a month longer...well..she's going to do the thing she likes best again...besides meditation requires alot of body energy..if you're too old it becomes difficult to concentrate..so let her be :)

Besides after my Wallaby i think she should be back haha..time would fly i guess. Wallaby isn't such a bad thing...i can take my mind of things...heh...maybe it'll allow me to think less strongly...and so my thoughts won't be occupied with you all the time...it's too much pressure on you too heh.

Maybe the answer is just staring at me right in the face...but i'm just ignoring the signs :) Oh well.

I guess i'll focus more time on my studies heh...as what my mom tells me prepare for my University..let's see what course i wanna take..back to accounting? Or trying something new like economics...1 more year to plan and read up on some of the courses books. At least i will know more or less what i like. I shall slowly take my time!

Next friday Timbre! YES! Haha..i hope the live band is there and let's hope abner doesn't fall sick again wahaha. Maybe saturday reserved for sispec mates..but let's see how it goes.

SZ is back to another mundane existence in the guardroom.

2009-08-10T09:26:00.002+08:00

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里你的真心

如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急更害怕错过你

Haha..what apt description :) I love the lyrics heh.

Joshua we need to meet up and have a heart to heart talk man..it's been a long time...8 years of friendship...

All right 12 more hours to book in..let's enjoy :)

2009-08-10T00:30:00.009+08:00

Hahaha let's see...friday booked out and met my mp friends well 2 of them only since abner fell sick haha...ate dinner talked for nearly 2 hours then went to hang out at the arcade center...yes...quite boring i would say but that's because i had to go home early so that i can wake up on time the next day. Haha..well saturday was pretty well spent because UP was a great movie. Thought provoking with a tinge of humour plus nostalgia from other childhood movies. I would say it would be the best pixar movie i watched this year :). Especially the part where Carl was so devoted to his wife...i wonder would that happen in this modern society? Besides that i think the most lovable character was russell :). Doug obviously ranks 1st on my favourite character list because i love dogs and he reminds me of robin, my neighbour's golden retriever. SQUIRREL! :)

Today was my dad's early celebration for his 60th birthday haha...he's real birthday is on August 14...well...i know i'm not on very good terms with you but...happy birthday still dad! Besides that nothing much except talking to my cousin about army stuff. 1 month later than me to ord Wahaha!! Well...at least it's something to talk about :D.

DELETE DELETE DELETE...although i spent quite some time to write it. I shall save it in a word document...after all you know my blog and you can read everything :). What am i to you in your eyes..i have no idea..but to me you are everything :)....in the meantime it's as per normal.

SZ shall enjoy his long weekend :).

2009-08-08T01:43:00.001+08:00

I will not allow myself to have any regrets. I shall face my fears and in time all will fall in place.

2009-08-02T23:01:00.002+08:00

Whew...quite a busy sunday! Went out for Public enemy! Haha i would say it's a pretty good movie and Johnny Depp played a very convincing role in John Dillinger. I just love Johnny Depp haha he's just so versatile. It's kinda fanboyism if i were to say every movie Johnny Depp acts in i would love it Haha! Maybe he can take the role of Joker in the upcoming batman sequels? It'll be pretty cool!

After that went home for a while before going for canvas photo taking which took approxmiately 3 hours? Haha only went for dinner at around 9.30..hungry! I'll probably post the pictures online when i get em :)

Haha probably gonna catch hossan leong on stage having fun with his very own "talk show". Hope it'll be funny :D! Abner told me about it and he's probably bringing his friends. Let's see if i can rope anyone in haha.

Sometimes it just gets so confusing. Mixed signals at times or just false impression on my part? I don't know. But i know if this keeps up..it's just going to get very tiring. I keep telling myself it's never easy..but there doesn't seem to be anything to show me if i'm moving in the correct direction. Maybe i'm just too non-romantic to get people interested? If being what I am a nice person works...then i have to say it has a high failure rate then. If not why till now single haha. Haha...well I'm just going to enjoy whatever singlehood has to offer for now.

I'm late for booking in tata. At least my weekend is packed for the upcoming week...something to look forward to!

SZ is annoyed with his sore throat. I'm getting tired of this weak constitution. Tired with my weak will. Tired of being made fun of my looks. I'm reaching my limit. I'm going to explode soon i know. I just hope my men don't get the full blast.

2009-08-01T21:57:00.004+08:00

Haha so today was spent meeting yx and yw for lunch at the new shopping center at bugis "illuma" haha. Had cheese pizza at the empire state restaurant! The food's good actually haha and the portion is rather big...should have shared the pizza man. After that went to great world because illuma didn't have the timeslot for ice age 3..it was only at 5...and at that time it was around 2 plus? haha so travelled to great world to watch. It's quite a good sequel actually. The idea is still fresh and never dull haha so i would say it's a good sequel. Maybe i'll catch the next one if it does come out :)

Tomorrow probably meeting abner just for movie..public enemies haha...forego the swim i guess..coming down with flu i don't think i want to risk it. As to why i am starting to have flu..imagine it raining at night and not having blanket for 4 days..yes..that's what happened..brought the blankets in camp for changing on monday and QM ran out..great. Freezed to death during those few days haha.
Anyway, after the movie should be photo taking with the family for graduation pictures that should be about it keke. And it's back to camp! I have guard duty on monday..and my first time being guard commander...it shouldn't be a problem i guess :) I must have confidence!

Let's see...upcoming weekend activities for the coming week. Friday meeting up with MP section..but location to be confirmed again...if i want to have dinner with them..let's hope it's somewhere nearer to my camp..if not i don't think i can meet them on time wahaha..maybe forego dinner and just meet up? Let's see how it goes.

Saturday is reserved for only one thing UP! I've been waiting for it since 2 months ago when i saw the trailer. I watch it no matter what! AND it has to be ASAP! Friday is impossible to get tickets unless i book in advance and...i'm unable to get a companion for it! Even if its Saturday i hope the tickets don't run out.

Sunday is my dad's 60th birthday celebration with National Day haha..looks like it's going to be quite a major celebration so let's see how it goes..and afterall i get a off the next day for that so..Yeah!!!

In the meantime i should go sleep..let's hope i'm disciplined enough to wake up early tomorrow to run! :D

SZ is just pondering...

2009-07-26T20:48:00.002+08:00

Haha..took half day off on friday to settle some stuff..hmm in the end the conclusion was already what i had in mind heh. I respect your decision and in any case at least i feel more relieved now!
Saturday was a good day haha. OTOT was good. 40 dollars well spent. Maybe if there any other Wild Rice! productions i might catch their other productions. It was a enjoyable night :) I wish i am able to have even nicer memories in the future...not everything is cast in stone right?

Today went to meet YX for lunch and to his house haha..that's about it..i think next week need more activities like tennis? YX if you read this go book court! I need more activities! Argh! National Day & AHM coming up that means more off for me! Wee! Maybe September go thailand? YX take note again! Don't let your recruits drag you down haha! Let's see my schedule in the coming 2 months...hope it doesn't get jam packed

In the meantime, last entry on all these stuff. It can get out of hand if i let this continue.

SZ will and shall wait. A promise is a promise :)

2009-07-19T09:50:00.003+08:00

Woke up with a big headache..gosh..bad things just comes in waves eh. I'm gonna take half day off for tomorrow..i'm definitely not recovered. I guess i can only look forward to next weekend's activities if there are any haha. Maybe yingx will go arrange. In the meantime, dental appt is the only thing taking up my Saturday and OTOT! Haha it's so fast! It's been another month again time flies. Mom is most likely flying off again this time to Myanmar for 1 month at least due to the stringent rules on visas for foreigners now. She only managed to obtain a month's worth of visa..if she's unable to extend it then she'll be back next month!! She's most likely flying off next Saturday! I'm free enough to send her :). Thanks for taking care of me when i'm sick mom. I can always depend on her. It's times like this that i know there are people who still care about me :)

All right, yesterday's post was too emo! I'm gonna shape up again. It's a brand new week! What new events will unfold i have no idea...but i'm going to think positively! Be it bad or good, i won't let it get me down :D

SZ wants to quickly recover and resume his duties!

2009-07-18T21:20:00.003+08:00

Haha..great what a wonderful present to a less hectic week. Fever. Outstanding. Just gets me all fuzzy. Slept away friday with a temperature of 38.6. Surprisingly after that i recovered..probably my temperature is around 37.5 now still it's amazing how much sleep works on me. Not requiring medicine but just plain ol barley and rest haha.

Missed kendrick's bdae party, feel bad considering he went for my 21st party..but..i don't want to spread germs to him and his friends so it's not a good thing to go.

Tomorrow's tennis day..i wonder if i'm all right enough to make it haha..let's see if yingx will get pissed off :D.

Monday's 12 HR guard duty..thinking of getting half day off in the morning to rest somemore then do guard duty let's see how it goes.

First time ice skating last week...i'm a clumsy klutz haha what can i say? I never was athletic to begin with heh but i will probably slowly learn how to ice skate with help! Help please?

Sometimes i wished i can look into people's minds and know what they are thinking haha. It always gets me thinking if i say the wrong things all the time. Maybe i'm just not tactful enough. Offending people unknowingly. Or maybe i just have poor communication skills ha...but it's also impossible to please everyone. I don't mind getting misunderstood. Especially as a Spec, i can't please everyone. People can say what they want but i'll carry on....

My brother just got a hamster haha a very cute little thing but there's only one i think he should get another one. It looks kinda lonely abit like me? All alone without a friend or companion. I'm trying to get him to crawl into my hand but apparently he doesn't wish too. Maybe he needs time to get used to my smell haha..or i'm doing things wrong? Maybe i don't have any attractiveness, be it physical appearance, charisma or inner beauty to let it feel comfortable enough to trust me. Whatever it is, it needs time..like many things in life. It takes time.

Life is never smooth sailing, when you're overjoyed with it, it'll come crashing down upon you. So maybe i shouldn't feel happy or sad when good or bad things happen to me. Just take it neutrally. That way i won't be disappointed or overly sad when events unfold...heh but it isn't easy...we're controlled by our emotions haha by being detached from them can we feel joy eh...ahh..watch me blabber on. I shall stop this downward spiral just because of one continuous event for the past week. It's not healthy.

SZ needs to stop being self delusional and continue on with his journey.

2009-07-05T20:52:00.005+08:00

Haha...really didn't do much this weekend...basically rotted the whole saturday away except on Sunday meeting YX for Aston's. The food there is quite good man...but i chose the wrong meal haha! Should have chosen the honey bourbon ribs instead of the steak! Ergh..you made the correct choice yingz :D Let's see if next Saturday we celebrating yw's bdae shall we.

Next Sunday? Please don't forget :)

Besides that nothing much haha.

Booking in late today as the key is not with me and my upperstudies book in late.

SZ needs to start learning to take things as they are...and remember...it's never easy. It's a long and arduous journey. It's not like the movies :) Slowly & maybe Surely. I can't predict anything and i fear the unpredictable.

2009-07-03T17:12:00.002+08:00

First time taking mini-biathlon. Mini-biathlon 1 me 0. Walked like crazy and every single step of "running" was basically jogging. After the 350 m swim nearly died haha nevermind. I know my stamina is damn bad or probably the mental strength to push on is not there..damn i should meet he ming for a swim soon! Probably next Saturday haha.

Next friday, prepared for a super late book out. COC parade + enhanced enlistment :) Pure bliss!

And woah woah did i just get insulted? Haha i shall fk it. Some people think i'm blur shit but oh boy...do i know things. Oh i do man. I just choose to keep quiet haha. Let's wait and see shall we.

SZ is waiting for a peaceful weekend! 3 more months to Wallaby!

2009-06-28T18:41:00.003+08:00

Haha sad friday..booked out late and i made some mistakes that probably lowered the trust rating from my upperstudy..ah...nevermind we all make mistakes right...i just need to learn from them. I'm not superhuman and don't have superhuman memory..sometimes things just slip my mind!

Haha anyway didn't do much this weekend! Basically went to meet few of my MP friends for dinner and after that minds cafe and bowling. Nothing much haha. Today spent my whole afternoon taking a nap *oink* *oink* Weee. I'll probably go running after this post. Once per week..is quite bad...so is my gym..but anyway i wasn't feeling well this week..stupid flu.

Anyway, been listening to jay chou's 退后 haha the lyrics are quite meaningful i feel.

天空灰得像哭过
离开你以后
並沒有更自由
酸酸的空氣
嗅出我们的距离
一幕锥心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
榨乾了回憶
那笑容是夏季
你我的过去
被順時針的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
粗心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给了承诺
却被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里待續

Haha isn't it true that sometimes even if you really love someone, it's better to part ways at times because you guys are just unhappy with each other. Love can't last without having 2 hands to clap. There must be giving and taking because in the long run, the other party will feel unappreciated if he/she is giving in too much. For instance you have to keep accompanying your boyfriend to do something that you hate and he doesn't care about forcing you to accompany him or that she enjoys shopping and you absolutely hate shopping but she wants you to accompany her all the time. That will make you resentful won't it and this is in sync with problem no. 2.

Compatiability issues are also part of the problems. For instance, you can have a simple girl and a guy who has huge ambitions and wants to be somebody. This scenario is okay if the guy is loving towards her and does not become selfish in his quest to be somebody. Or if you're the simple girl, you must try to understand that sometimes he'll be very busy as he wants to chase his dreams...so you'll have to stand by the sidelines and wait for him to come back instead of resenting him for abandoning you at times! Also, if you guys don't share any common interests that can connect you then it's very hard to maintain it isn't it? There's nothing to gel you guys together and in the long-run it's potentially disastrous. No matter how much they say opposite attracts, i feel that you can have different personalities but you must share something together because it makes you enjoy each other's company.

Communication(haha i don't know whether i can do this if i'm in a relationship because sometimes i just like to keep the bad feelings festering) is important i would say unless the girl/guy likes to play mind games..then i can tell you it'll be damn annoying. But communication helps to work out the small problems from snowballing into big problems that'll cause you resentment. A bushfire not put out quickly is turned into wildfire, isn't that even worse? So don't ignore the small problems that arise.
A final point for girls alone...please don't go back to a fucking idiot who cheats on you. Get out of the safety zone and get the courage to step out of it. I don't know what's the reason for wanting to keep things stable. You're hurt and unhappy and you'll feel that you have no idea what to trust anymore. A sense of security is what makes you know you can depend on the person. If it's gone..haha i would say it would be truly gone. And guys who cheat just don't cheat once do they. They can say all kinds of sweet words like they "love" you still, they will change, it's just a one time thing. Please give me a chance etc etc and your heart will just soften. But still there's also the other side where the relationship is already on the downslope and you have to identify that unless it really was just temptation then...please don't do the stupid thing of forgiving..that i feel, you have not learnt your lesson. Heck if my gf was cheating damn..i have to talk to her about it first and see what's the problem if it's just cause of temptation then..i might be prone to just make the hard decision..i know it's never easy and it's all theory-wise until i am in the situation...so it's just my thoughts for now haha. Haha just to name a few points..i'm sure there are a thousands of reasons why relationships don't or do work..but i'm not Mr Love Guru or anything... this is just to all those lovers out there to ponder on keke.

This friday mini biathlon haha..350 m swim and 5km run...arrow everywhere from CSM. He's like a red indian chief. Shooting arrows all the time and does nothing for us except disappear after shooting us with arrows.

SZ is late for run and is doomed for the mini biathlon! Wahaha..3 more hours to book in...dang!

2009-06-21T19:06:00.005+08:00

Hahaa!! It's been an enjoyable weekend...booked out on thursday as there was cohesion on Friday! Wahhaa...but these kind of things are just like once or twice a year? So i shouldn't be too happy! It's back to the 5 day work week which starts from 7.30 am to 6.30 pm. Haha..however, i psed my mp friends on friday night as i wasn't feeling well. Was sleeping the rest of the afternoon away. Felt like fever was coming and i was having a headache. I had no choice but to ps them! Saturday was a very very happy day for me. Keke just felt tinge of warmness coming out..every single second :) There's no hoping...yet! Testing waters :)

Haha anyway at night went to butter factory with my bmt friends...and PLEASE don't ever go there..it has poor song selection & tunes it way too loud + it's squeezy & small = nono for me! Anyway, i have firmly affirmed i am not a clubber guy heh. I prefer going to a pub where there's live band and chit-chat with my friends to catch up heh. Besides, what's with the big fuss over clubbing? It brings you cheap thrills if you are just there to meet someone, hook up or trying to relieve stress. You'll feel happy for that one day and next day when you wake up, you'll feel empty. If not why are so many people depressed? Haha..and isn't it kind of like a drug if you think about it. It makes you high but leaves u empty feeling and you want more of it till you get addicted to it. Nono..i rather have fulfilment with my friends which are more ever-lasting! Next Saturday outing with MP friends!!

Anywayz happy father's day to all..it's time for dinner with my family!! Haha..SZ is going to book in at 2300 hrs! That's in 3 hours time!

SZ is determined to get what he wants :)

2009-06-14T18:05:00.003+08:00

Haha..okay i would say it wasn't a very fun filled weekend...no plans for Saturday but still my mom is back :D Except since she shaved, you can see all her white hair haha so it looks like she aged but she's still the same old mom just that she's as bald as me! WAHAHA. Okay la..but she looks healthier, probably due to the fresh mountain air and water plus nutritious food. She also looks much happier :) I'm glad she enjoyed it. Haha..but she's contemplating going for another 3 months in July but this time to Myanmar..although it might be quite hard to get in due to the current political climate...but if she goes this time, i think she'll be able to get the "light". It's basically some sort of light that appears after intense concentration during your meditation..it supposedly lets you see your inner organs...and as you get more focused, it'll allow you to see into your past life. Sounds outrageous? But i believe that there are alot of things that can't be explained or proven. Heh...oh well.

Sunday was spent sleeping and going out with the MP gang..basket everyone of them books in tomorrow and i book in today. They stay out i stay in. They spend most of their time using INET and sleeping(a selected few) and i spend most of the time doing SK...what is this...bah...1 year plus more to go...after Wallaby in late Nov time should fly...i hope! At least after Wallaby i have 3-4 weeks of off! So my Dec would be free heh...but 5 weeks in rural Australia? Not fun at all...but at least there's overseas pay to compensate!

Time to go for a short run!

SZ realises he might be over doing things and will ease off. Heh. Friends are still more important i guess.

2009-06-13T17:16:00.002+08:00

Heh..don't know what's wrong with me..been feeling excited the whole day...issit because mom's coming back? Or is it due to other reasons? I don't know..but anyway i can see her soon :) It's been a good longgg 3 months...i wonder if my mom changed alot...who knows? What will happen if she truly enjoys her pursuit for true enlightenment and keeps leaving us...heh..oh well...i shall leave it as it first and wait for her to come back! Boring weekend except the triceps muscle on my arm is still aching..god damnned fats! Can't take the exercise! My triceps really need HELL lot of work. Endurance training for it for now..i'll up the weights probably 2-3 weeks later.

Am i getting over-confident and bluffing myself? It seems to be that way...maybe it's really true that i'm hoping too much. Heh..well back to square one? I have no idea what to do next.

SZ is still considering his actions.

2009-06-08T21:00:00.002+08:00

Haha..tiring day on Saturday...i only had time for 2-3 hours of sleep...erghh damn disgusting the guard comm didn't plan the duties properly bugger..but besides that..the next day Sunday was enjoyable :) Lunch was XO fish slice noodles with dessert after that with my poly friends :D.

Dinner was filled with all kinds of food keke...fattening(hehe don't blame me if you get fat and need to go running)! And went to chill at liquid kitchen after that...haha reached home at 12 am? Wahaha i would say i enjoyed myself thoroughly...it was a happy night! Haha but CONCUSSED AFTER THAT!

Anyway today watched NATM 2 with the 2 of the JC friends heh..i would say it was pretty enjoyable...at least better than terminator salvation ahhaa! I PSED Benjamin for dinner..sorry man i was really too tired..i will make it up to you some other day...i was really damn shagged.

Ergghh writer's block!!! Oh well..i think i still don't have enough sleep..but i shall go for a run now...i'm getting FAT! Gym starts tomorrow and thursday!

And mom's coming back on Saturday..YES! She'll be as bald as me? hahahaa oops but YES! haha..that's so mean.
I wonder how much enlightenment she has gained..i have no means of contacting her since she has been in total seclusion...i shall wait and see if my mom has changed heh.

Sunday lunch with MP section! That's about it for activities..let's see if there anymore other plans keke..

All right booking in before 23.59!! Let's get it going on!

SZ is happy and is going to take things slow. It will take time!

2009-05-31T21:38:00.002+08:00

Wahaha...all right..not a bad sunday..tennised from 1.30 till 4 then went to JP around 5 plus..ate swensens :D Celebrity brownies and the ice cream was butterscotch woot! Okay it's fattening i know..well the most i can do is work out a little more...let's see if the exercise regime i have planned in camp will be fulfiled. Most likely i'll stay in camp on friday instead of booking out...hit the gym and early sleep before my guard duty the next day. Oh wellz..at least i got XO fish head beehoon to look forward to on Sunday...and Night at the Museum 2 movie on Monday.

13 more days before mom comes back! Yeah!! Okay i don't know whether she extended her stay there..but...let's wait for her...looking forward to seeing her after 3 months!!

In the meantime it's back to the old drawing board. Got loads to learn in the Guard Room it's a never ending learning cycle(as how it's supposed to be like in the real world too)...and i have to toughen up on the RP's if not i'll get eaten up and become the men instead. Or that's according to what my upperstudy said. I guess you can't be the nice guy always to your men...let's see how i juggle..

1/1/2 more hours to book in! NOOO!!!

P.S. YX The power of the additional thing i have has allowed me to truimph LOL!! Okay just kidding la Wahaha!

SZ is going to be gone for yet another monotonous week.

2009-05-31T01:29:00.005+08:00

One thing...ARGHHH!!! My onitsuka tiger shoe has left me once more! Found the design but don't have my size...that's so darn annoying...i have half a mind to just buy straight online! Grr!! These kind of things seem to occur to me quite often. Fated to know but not fated to be together! Erggh! YOU'RE ON TOP OF MY WISHLIST ONITSUKA! YOU CAN RUN BUT U CAN'T HIDE!

Haha anyway..this saturday has been pretty good although i spent 18 bucks on cab for my dental. Overslept...son of a...in the end i was late nevertheless if i took bus..why..it would be even later! The rest of the day was spent with yx at funan while waiting for the gang to reach late. Haha ended up as above my shoe didn't have my size and christine's shoe was not available at that shop in peninsula shopping centre...soz..double errgh!

After that left for karen's party and i only reached home like 1 hour ago! She was asking her secondary school friends to do some pretty crazy stuff before i left Haha! Anyway asked her out for coffee next weekend to xu xu jiu probably Sunday evening or monday timing..which i don't know what time it is! Haha Oh wellz.

Oh Oh, saw a NP junior at karen's party too. Her name's Danielle. Her eyes are still darn pretty. Watery and big like puppies' eyes! But okay that's not the main point. Seems like she's taking UOL's Economics degree course and it's something i'm quite interested in. At least i can obtain notes from her and see whether i will be interested in it! I hope I do! In the meantime, i dropped her an email to remind her to email me the notes. I can only wait for her to email me some of her notes just to let me have a feel about what i'm going to do if i enroll in the course.

All right tomorrow is grocery shopping, tennis and book in time! The last one is the irritating one! Haha...it's gonna be a long weekend with the 24 hour duty on Saturday...6 days in camp.. gonna be a shag weekend for me the week after the next. Lucky i took off for 8th June i would be able to rest a while...and mom's gonna be back on 13th june...must be mentally prepared to see my hairless mom! wahaha!! I hope she's enjoying herself..that's the most important thing i want for her.

Next next week's plans are Sunday XO fish beehoon near Holland Village, and on monday Night at the Museum 2 with JC friends..timing to be confirmed..so that's all so far..

And to Joshua bin laden...if you are reading this stop Jillying for one day or maybe just a few hours would do so we can meet up for rockband or something haha. My memory of you is disappearing at this rate of non meeting up haha. (Kidding kidding your hp and house phone numbers still resonates in my mind deeply..:))

I've been listening to roy orbison's crying song it's pretty good! Meaningful lyrics too heh

I was all right for a while,
I could smile for a while
But I saw you last night you held my hand so tight
As you stopped to say hello
Oh, you wished me well, you couldn't tell
That I've been crying over you, crying over you
And you said, so long
Left me standing all alone
Alone and crying, crying, crying, crying
It's hard to understand but the touch of your hand
Can start me crying I thought that I was over you
But it's true, so true I love you even more than I did before
But darling, what can I do
For you don't love me and I'll always be
Crying over you, crying over you
Yes, now you're gone and from this moment on
I'll be crying, crying, crying, crying
Yeah, crying, crying over you

Haha for those nursing a heartbreak..damn..don't cry when you hear this song! For people like me just wanting to enjoy a good song..this song is pretty heart rendering or at least thought provoking :)

SZ can't wait to meet his mom :)

2009-05-24T19:20:00.003+08:00

Erghh...lousy week i had? Friday didn't go out for dinner because i was too emo with the "army" stuffs and nothing happened on Saturday wasting my morning and afternoon...thanks...and on Sunday at 7am in the morning i got a beloved call. Thanks for screwing up my week. Just came back only like 1 hour ago..bloody hell. Ahh..looking forward to next week..at least alot of things planned..i hope..haha. The week after this is my guard duty June 6..so wtf another weekend burnt...ah..i just have to get used to this pathetic excuse for a camp. Worst place to be in as an MP or probably 2nd in ranking after G Camp. WAHHAA POOR BENG KHONG!

So this upcoming Saturday...Tennis, shopping for shoes and karen's party at the beach..hmm plenty to look forward to! PLEASE LET ME BOOK OUT!

Friendships are forged by effort.
Without effort, it fades away.
And fade away it has.
Only memories remain,
and they shall always remain.
Locked in heart and mind,
but feelings there are not.
For one has to learn to let go,
and keep moving forward.
If not one can never feel happiness.

Cheam? It's basically how we should follow in real life, but in real life it's never so easy. Took me a longggg time to let go but i've done it :). Let's see where the future brings me...though it's quite bleak after army life..since i am unable to obtain a uni placing..argh. SIM? Is it at least recognised by a employer? And what job am i going to apply after UNI? Worklife is beckoning in 5-6 years time..argh..its not that far off and it's killing all my braincells!

SZ is shagged with only 2 and a half hours of sleep.

2009-05-17T20:51:00.002+08:00

Hahaha..omgossh it's been an expensive weekend this week...i spent close to 80 dollars in a day...and today i spent another 13 bucks cause i lost in mahjong (Damn you yx and your full colour..) Hahaha oh well it was an enjoyable weekend but i need to manage the expenses account more prudently keke. Anyway as to why i managed to spend close to 80 dollars...let's name out the expenses.

Dinner at Botak Jones: 14
Drinking at Alley Bar: 42(OMG)
Supper at Macs: 4 (i would have sooo preferred tau huay)
Cab: 10 bucks (maybe less than that but i haven't got my change)
Miscellaneous transport fees: 3
Total Amount: 73 (GAHH)

All right so basically that's how the expenses were calculated..argh disgusting i know..and not only that..i think i'm gonna spend more next week. Saturday most likely going to peninsula with the poly gang haha..I wanna get my Onitsuka Tiger shoes and the design is sold out at wheellock...i should have grabbed it when i saw it restocked at WheelLock NOoooOO. Oh well. I'll give peninsula a hit first. Let's see if level 2 has the design i want. Christine wants her Onitsuka Tiger shoe too..WOOHOO. Shop shop till ya drop.Not just that..i want to go Uni Qlo and get some jeans and shirts..which will amount to 200 dollars..hmm..should i just wait for GSS to buy? There might be discounts at Uni Qlo then..let's see how it goes haha.

All right back to camp soon..erghh...more guard room duties..i need more books!
(PS: He did not do what he promised himself to do. Oh well..maybe it's all for the better. I'll save it up for someone that is special to me :))

SZ is booked next next Saturday and probably this coming Saturday too :D
SZ is Guybrush Threepwood. "I am rubber, you are glue". Instant Classic :)

2009-05-15T22:10:00.002+08:00

Ah..well rejected for NTU, NUS. Now i'm just waiting for SMU to reject me as well...hopeless i know..my results suck, yes..maybe the only way out is SATS? Even then it does not guarantee me a placing in the local unis. 1900/2400 bare minimum to be considered..not only that out of that 1900, 1400 has to come from both english and writing..and writing is basically almost impossible for me...how hard do i have to work to get both to 700 each? I have no idea..there's no new SATS test dates for now...i shall wait..maybe in the meantime i should start preparing for it. Sigh..education the most depressing thing in my life. I sure wished i hadn't take accounting. I took accounting and all my accounting modules are fucked up. It's only pulled up by non accounting related stuff...fuck..so i wish my family can just shutup about asking me to take back accounting. It's not even about working hard or not. It's about whether i even enjoy accounting. For me, i don't...so what are my other options? I have to find that on my own..i want to take econs but my brother keeps saying it's more difficult than accounting. Does he know where my interests lie?

2009-05-10T19:16:00.002+08:00

Haha it was good while it lasted..now i can't book out le...maybe except for nights out...i'll probably try the chingteng at the nearby hawker centre...supposedly the RP said it's quite awesome let's see...anywayz with updates to my new duties..let's just say it's not Military Police..it's more like Multi-Purpose. I've done not one single MP-like assignment..more like sai kang warrior. Area cleaning...destroying condemned cupboards and bringing them to the recycling dumping ground..gahh...but nevermind monday i'll get started on my duties. I can learn from the MPs there. They will be back from their off. Let's see...

This week i didn't go out at all except to buy groceries haha...it was kinda a no choice thing. I felt like my throat was heating up again. Felt like i was gonna fall sick on thursday but i slept very early each day and ta da...i'm all right now. No medication no nothing just lots of rest haha. If people asked me out on saturday i would have been more than willing to go but no one did..besides cheese asking me to go Sim Lim but that was not on my list of to go places haha. Who knows what i will be up too next week...but i think i need to stay home to do some things..not playing games..but other endeavours that requires my presence at home haha..and OTOT musical is still pending!! Grr hurry up and come back YX. Your decision is required! Mr Specialist!

SZ is feeling better after resting at home and has confirmed his decision to repay his gratitude :)

2009-05-03T18:05:00.003+08:00

Haha yes..it's been a long weekend this week..all thanks to labour day! I mean though i didn't sleep much for the past few days haha it doesn't matter i'm feeling great still. Friday was spent rotting almost the whole day till night where i went to watch X-MEN. It was a pretty good movie until the stupid ending..i was like hinting to my friend(sometimes movies are just so predictable) that the scene there was the ending and he was asking whether i was sure or not. Next thing you know the credits came out Wahhaa...going home, i had the sudden urge to go running and so i did ha...after that did pullups and situps..god damnned..when you are shagged out from running...pullups are basically almost impossible to do? I managed to do 8 before i let go. Hardly any energy left in me.

Saturday was basically spent doing nothing besides despositing money from my dad into my mom's account and grocery shopping. Nothing else much except i was lifting weights and doing situps again (i have to fit into my number 3 uniform ergh).

And TODAY was even more sloth-like...stuck to the computer for like the whole day hehe. Oh well i don't usually go out on sundays and YX is not around to jio me out. That basically sums up my week.

I don't want to talk about moonlight marshall..it's a bad memory plus the fact..some stupid thing happened after the moonlight marshall...idiot guy...ruined all of our sleeping time.

Haha and OTOT musical is still pending..let's see how it goes..either my poly friends agree to watch or my jc friends agree to watch..first come first serve? :)

Heh okayz 2 more days to POP..wished i could bring more people to the pass out parade..there's only a limit of 2 per person. and our PC has said if anyone brings more than 2, the remaining others will be sent back home...i'm not going to risk it haha!!

All right 2 more hours to book in argh...Guard Commander at Seletar here i come! Please?

I'm thinking of going Funan next week and the AMK gameshop which sells chinese game..damn it i need to find this old chinese game 三国志11威力加强版 it's basically adds on new stuff to the original game...damn it why didn't i grab it from simlim when it was still in stock..gosh..i'm quite stupid sometimes...now i want it and it's gone..haha i better grab the onitsuka tiger shoe i saw at star three sixty too :) Maybe next week Heh..

SZ is still contemplating the favour he wants to return. It's a little too extreme no?

2009-04-26T18:45:00.002+08:00

Haha so it's been a fattening weekend since i did not even exercise. I'm having some sort of rashes so i cancelled swimming too. It's not getting any better think i'll see a doctor next week after moonlight marshall. To top it off i had kuishinbo on Saturday for dinner! Haha fattening right? And i spent quite a fair bit too since i bought 2 cds after the meal. One cd consists of this new Singapore songer called bevlyn khoo. Didn't know who she was until i heard her cd being played at "That CD shop". She's quite versatile and her songs all have that kind of jazzy feeling which makes it even better haha! Will be supporting her :D

In the meantime, SZ wants to watch Own Time Own Target but he can't find anyone yet to do so..he shall ask around! Besides it's in july, there's still lots of time left! Hope by then i can find someone or a group of people to watch with :D It's basically a musical about army life. Haha my friend said it's good and he already bought the tickets! Who to ask? Hmm Hmm...

All right 1 and a half more days to moonlight marshall and 1 more hour to leave house..we have to book in earlier today for some adminstrative matters! ARGH!! I better go off! Ciao next thursday. I'm going to be a zombie!

SZ has to move concertina wires and sandbags in 2 days time!

2009-04-19T17:52:00.002+08:00

Ahh..i'm seriously exhausted..my weekends are draining more energy than expected. I need a serious break but preparation for field camp is coming next week..it's going to get tougher and tougher. Just 3 more weeks..endure...on the plus side, there's no more parties i have to go too yet this month so i'll be able to rest hopefully. I've travelled from north east to the west to the east and to north east again for the past 2 weeks. It's really mentally torturing heh.

Yesterday was a sinful day :P Afternoon chicken rice at queensway, brownie special at B&J Cathay(the sisters working there are cute :D), then dinner at friend's party plus another friend's party food and ice cream cake haha! Fattening i know! But heck!! I shall enjoy :P After that went with my BMT buddy to watch soccer for the first half! 1-1! Going home and continuing the second half was painful...i had no idea what was fabianski thinking when he did that..and our backline has been very shaky..silvestre is just..unbelievable.

And today 's time was spent on groceries and the finally finding out what was the real problem with my computer. The game was incompatiable to the vga firmware of my graphics card so basically updated it and presto! The game works fine now haha.

Booking in again...haha looking forward to the book out again..i need more rest! And good luck to YX for his Thailand "holiday" and mark for his 1 year long stay in Brunei...20k richer when you're back :)

In the meantime, i want to go swimming on Sunday! PLEASE!!

SZ is exhausted.

2009-04-12T16:45:00.002+08:00

Stillness of the night,
your mind is left to wander,
invoking feelings of emptiness, loneliness.

Yet, it allows you time to reflect.
Be it the past or present,
you're given time to learn.

You just gotta hate or love the night :)

Saturday was spent buzzing around! First going KBOX with the YX and gang and having dinner with them which i only had cheese cake since i had 2 birthday parties simultaneously after that. Grr stupid cheesecake didn't have the ones i wanted and i had to keep ordering new ones in the end settled for expresso cheesecake. Anyway after the two parties, i went to yx's house to watch soccer and play monopoly.

Today i was spending time as a slave for the computer as once again there was some problem with the comp..and finally the other problem is the graphics card itself. Well it's still under warranty so it's free to be replaced :D! This weekend i should have a workable comp.

Wednesday is cohesion night and our group hasn't spent a good quality brainstorming session to get things done. I'm at a loss at this lack of teamwork...if this was my SISPEC bunch we would have tons of things planned for a performance. Ergh.

Next week is gonna be a busy week again..2 more birthday parties on saturday...i need a break from all these birthdays! Argh!!

Ahh..not having my mom around is giving me thoughts of wanting a girlfriend. The femine touch i'm lacking heh...but how to show the girls what is the real SZ like? No idea heh but nevermind. 2 more months and mom will be back. I shall endure this empty feeling!

SZ is getting tired of going to birthday parties and he wants to REST!

2009-04-10T19:05:00.003+08:00

So the award of a silver has landed into my hands..time now to aim for gold...but my running is getting worse and i don't know what's wrong. With all the running we have been doing i should have improved my 2.4km timing but it dropped by 30 seconds instead. I wonder if the 1 month of heavy coughing is somehow affecting my lungs and other parts of my body as i get stitches 1-2 minutes right into the run or any other run..i don't know what's wrong with my body now. People i've been overtaking suddenly are running faster than me..i need to sort this bad cough soon. Need to do some running on my own i guess or have some food that nourishes the lungs.

Haha oh well but i celebrated anyway yesterday by going eating, drinking and more drinking :D First drank at some bar then went to a club to drink..it's a "special" club meaning well it's for people who like the same sex i would say :D! The decorations are nice just that it's jolly bloody well loud inside. I can hardly hear. Since it's "special" and i don't really dance..i just sat there drinking with my other army friends..and one said it's time to go to some other normal bar or club to chill out next time hahaha. Went for porridge after that with a seh feeling even though i was wide alert haha..oh well. It's fun going out to drink once in a while.

And i spent the rest of EASTER rotting at home haha...no one asked me out and i didn't really sleep much hence the staying in. Spent the day not by playing games because my comp is still at the repair shop and he doesn't open on public holidays. I think it was collectable 3-4 days ago..but my brother didn't have the time to pick it up for me..oh well. The good part was that i read more of the Time Traveller's Wife book. Pretty good read or rather refreshing for me. It's rather confusing at first since it deals with time travel. It still gets quite messy sometimes for me even though i'm around 1/3 into the book. Enjoying it though. It's been a while since i picked up a book but i'm glad i chose this one. Hehe.

Haha all right regarding the last thing i want to do for my friend, it's going to come into effect 3-4 weeks time...i'm going to learn the thing i want to do. Might not come out great but still it's an effort :)

All right tomorrow there'll be 2 dinners...rush rush rush!!

SZ is going to enjoy his long weekend

2009-04-05T18:41:00.002+08:00

Haha what can i say about this week? Uneventful and serene i must say. If every single day i could wake up feeling like a million bucks just like i did on thursday, i would be happy for the rest of my life. :) It's strange at times how one can feel like the happiest man on earth and then on other days when he wakes up he just feels empty i would say. The mystery of the human brain..it's so complex even scientists haven't gotten around to even partially understanding it. Unlocking it's secrets would usher a new golden age of mankind i'm sure..afterall making ourselves more intelligent enhances our ability to research and that will greatly improve the current technology we're using :)

All right let's return back to earth and talk more about this upcoming week's activities. Well monday is basically discussion for our cohesion night. I thought of doing some whose line is it anyway games hope it works out and becomes funny in the end. Please? :P. Followed by tuesday which is our ATP..hmm hope i can get the 200 bucks for marksmen but i am quite bobo at times. Let's hope shall we...i can buy my mexico 66 shoes with that prize money though heh. And finally thursday is our IPPT...though it's quite low aiming to just aim for silver i am quite positive i can get it now. Kept jumping above 225 the other day. I just need to properly warm up my legs for the jump. Wee 100 bucks to treat Adrian..afterall i promised him haha. Whether his free or not is a different thing altogether since his always so busy with his girlfriend. Then after that BOOK OUT!!! YES! Thursday book out. Let's see if i got any activities planned..maybe can have dinner with my section mates. Besides that and saturday night i'm free to be booked :D SO PLEASE WHOEVER IS READING ASK ME OUT KIEZ?

Haha oops that sounded like i'm desperate for company but it's always good to catch up with old friends. I'm drifting apart with my secondary school friends i feel..or maybe i'm just thinking too much haha...the power of women to control a man's life..that's the bane of friendship. And some other friendships i feel i should be giving up. Blowing hot and cold at me is something that i wouldn't want. I'm a pisces! I want good communication at all times Hehe. All right i'm determined to not care so much now. I have one last thing to just do and it's to repay all gratitude that i've received :) The person will know when the time comes haha.

All right 1 and a half more hours to book in! Time to bathe and prepare for it

SZ seems to be able to put down unhappy thoughts and start living happily.

2009-03-30T17:46:00.003+08:00

Ahh..so seems like SZ has not much friends to notice that he wants to watch either of the 2 movies; Tales of Desperaux or Departures. Even when he shamelessly posted it on Facebook :P. Oh well looks like no one took up the offer. Must be his hideous face or something. Haha..i'll just give up the idea of watching the movie then.

Always wondered why i fall sick but i think it comes with 20 years of not exercising. As a kid, you should spend your time running around being in the outdoors. That gives you a good foundation for your health and constitution giving you lots of time to abuse it when you're older. However, i'm the directly opposite. The times i exercised or being involved in any sort of sports during my primary to poly days..hmm less than 15? Oh wow...what amazing nubers :). SO if people keep asking me why i keep falling sick i can only tell you this is why. A body that was hardly used resulted in poor health. But sitting whole day in a chair and facing the comp for 20 odd years is not my idea of healthy. Mind you health and fitness are 2 different things so don't mix them up together. If you want to know an example, like a few years back a young triathelete just dropped dead in the middle of the race. It's like so sudden? Okay i wouldn't know whether he was fit or not but being a triathelete participant, he should be more or less quite fit right. Or rather why not bruce lee, fit like a bull but he died because his body was allergic to the medication he was taking? Oh that's really WOW. So i hope everyone can understand that.
Heh..i'm afraid i'll be stuck with my addiction to the PC..probably it's going to ruin my life but what the hey...there's nothing good left for me to be addicted with.

Sometimes i wonder..i quite enjoy certain kinds of performances such as oprea or musicals but yet i'm so boorish at times..it makes me wonder...am i a kind of half-half? Ending up being stuck
in the neutral zone with no sides to choose from. That's kind of like a bisexual isn't it; not knowing what he/she wants. I think that's pretty sad...Anyway, hopefully i'm able to find a friend or a group of friends who have the same interests to watch with me during the weekends..i'm seriously not a party animal..i prefer weekends where i can have some peace and quiet nothing brings those like plays,opreas or musicals. I mean come on; you've been working for 5 days and you want to go to clubbing or partying to add more chaos in your life? I don't know about it but it just doesn't suit me.

Anyway, if anyone has time do check up on team Hoyt..amazing father and son..just find out about them..nearly cried in the auditorium last thursday when they showed us the video. The father's love that i never had. I'm going to change all this if i have kids. I might not be the rich dad but i hope i can be the loving father they will and always will remember..that's what my dream is. To be a good father to my kids. Funny isn't it? I've always thought of being a good father as a dream yet, here i am still single. It's quite ironic eh? Haha and also another dream is to be a good husband. You can say these are all from my family experience but i want to change all that. I may not know how to be romantic, how to make her gifts, may not understand everything she says, may not say lovely words to coax her, but the one thing i can do is always be there for her. Haha sounds romantic doesn't it, if only i could say such words in real life. Then things might change heh. If i didn't look like an idiot in real life then maybe words that i wanted to express would be so much easier. First impressions count no matter what people say :) Argh never mind about that, i shan't dwell on this.

To Dick Hoyt even given my dream, i don't think i can be as a good a father as you can. Pushing yourself to the limits almost every single day just to see your son smile...i can't even imagine how much you love your son...and to this i salute you.

Haha and oh i also caught Definitely Maybe on monday when i was sick. It's amazing how one can miss such a good movie. The best part was at the end when the protagonist said "The reason i kept the book was because it was the only thing i had left of you." That was truly breathtaking. I enjoyed that part immensely :)

SZ needs a cultivated Kaki who can withstand his rustic behaviour :P

2009-03-29T08:10:00.003+08:00

First of all..Happy birthday mom!! :) But it's a pity we can't celebrate for you as you are in Malayasia doing what you enjoy. I just hope you're enjoying your trip there. You might be in lots of hardship but i'm sure you'll get over it. Haha i mean..even though dad never ever helped you and you had a job, even when Kor cried several times in the night waking you up, you managed to endure 2 years before finally giving up and needed to hire a maid for that. This won't be as difficult as it is isn't it? :)

Anyway like what the hell am i falling sick in MP when i get enough rest compared to SISPEC...like wtf seriously. I never once fell sick in SISPEC..maybe it's the bunk cleanliness? Or probably the ventilation at SISPEC is better. MP's bunk has horrible ventilation. Argh and rotting at home? Missed out friday's dinner with JC friends missed out Saturday's birthday dinner with Benjamin..ah fuck..of all weeks to fall sick what a bitch. Might as well fall sick next week since there's nothing on going during the weekends..bloody hell. MC till tomorrow..wow..i feel so useless now..and IPPT is on 9th april..like hell i can get silver now..

SZ is bloody irritated.

2009-03-21T21:02:00.002+08:00

Argh...stupid week..slept very early on friday as i was dead tired...woke up at 7 used comp a while then left at 9 to buy groceries. After that rushed home, unload groceries and then left to find my dentist. After that went home, wait for yx to go out to buy our stuff which FAILED :(( Haha but nevermind at least we went to eat at pizza hut.

Went home after that then went to morgan's party till 8...and now i'm back home blogging. Not that i wouldn't stay but i have guard duty AGAIN tomorrow..5.30 i have to wake up again. Shit shitty more shit. And it's not helping with my flu and cough distracting me the whole time. I don't feel sick or anything its just god damnned annoying. But it sure is making me tired..i'll go sleep soon at 10.30 or 11 latest..i need my damnned rest.

Argh..its going to be a sucky long week ahead. I can only pray for next weekend..sigh.

SZ signing out.

2009-03-14T22:52:00.002+08:00

Argh..finished my MOI presentation..its supposed to be presented in 3 minutes..i hope i don't take too long.. LOL..i doubt so though..i think the video will be the one that drags on...oh well. Sigh booking in less than 10 hours...damn sian..0745 report to guardhouse..argh.

Went to IT fair today...hahaa bought my IPOD TOUCH! WOOO!! Been waiting a long time for it..it's basically my 21st bdae present for myself! So happy birthday Xie Shangzhao! Haven't put in all the songs yet...i shall do it now!

Next Saturday is Morgan's bdae, i shall request transport from Rene or Cheryl :D Hopefully they are driving then i don't have to drive Lalala!

I need to be less tongue tied towards girls if not i'm going to be a bachelor for life haha. Somehow though, i feel i'm able to start small talk much better now with girls..hope that's true..too bad i don't know where to meet more :D

Oh well, your choice is either to wait for someone old or meet someone new! The choice is yours! Hmm sounds like some phrase from a game "The choice is yours" Haha.

All right, time to put all the songs into my ipod :D

SZ is damn sad he has to book in so early.

2009-03-08T17:11:00.002+08:00

Ah..quite a busy week this weekend! Friday after booking out had one last dinner with my mom as she's leaving for 3 months to malayasia for meditation retreat and yup she's going as a short-term nun too :D but whatever makes her happy i have no complaints. She has sacrificed alot of her free time for us already having to take care of us while working..that's almost 20+ over years. It's time she has some enjoyment :D. Sent her off in the wee hours on saturday. I hope she has a full peace of mind so that she won't leave with any worries. I offered to take care of the house finances and grocery shopping so that she won't feel worried about who will take over her duties. 3 months..it's going to be a long yet short time. Hope she enjoys herself or at least moves on to a higher mind level.

Saturday morning and afternoon was spent rotting at home! WeeeeeeE! Haha but at night went to Chek's birthday where he performed 2 songs then after that some of us went to eat supper at Selegie. Tauhuay and Youtiao :D. However, i missed one of my JC friend's NTU concert. She was in the choir, oh well! Today went to play tennis eat lunch with YX & Gang. Reached home took a nap and now here i am posting my entry heh and waiting for book in! Argh...nevermind Friday will come soon enough..

SZ Busyyy :D Logging out

2009-03-01T20:41:00.003+08:00

Haha thank you thank you everyone for coming to my 21st bdae celebration...it meant alot to me to be able to catch up with my old friends! And thank you for your presents! :D To all my old friends i'll try to catch up with u guys when i have the time all right? :D

Posted the happy memories online already on facebook! To those who want the photos grab them online.

The sad thing for my 21st bdae was that i scratched my mom's car and nearly destroyed the gate! haha...talk about grand theft auto argh!! I drive so recklessly!

All right i'm about to book in soon.

Saturday my mom's leaving 6.30 am need to send her haha..i shall send her..3 months...hopefully it'll fly by and she'll be back soon :)

SZ is Happy!

2009-02-28T14:47:00.002+08:00

DAMN IT POSTING THIS AGAIN! STUPID BLOGGER!!!

Argh!! Kanna extra for not locking my locker! Suay suay i forgot to lock on friday in the morning and suay suay that day sgt check..1 X extra..oh well.. i just have to take it!

So mom's leaving on the 7th of march and of course i'm sending her there haha!! Also asked her to let me take care of some of the stuff she does like grocery shopping and money matters. Well hopefully i'll be able to take on the role well and improve a little as a person. Hehe I need to mature sooner since i'm most likely going Australia for my education and i need to be more independent.

Haha tomorrow's my birthday!! Happy 21st and cheerios to my adulthood!

Sz signing out!

2009-02-24T17:00:00.002+08:00

Haha well in my free time flipped through this so called article by a journalist about his nice guy friend who doesn't have a gf yet(that's not the important thing) but rather the next thing which was kind of weird. His 2 female friends who are having boyfriends that cheated or are still cheating on them yet they contemplate marriage with these guys stating reasons like they hope their boyfriends can change. Well, i don't think that's possible since they have already done that multiple times. You can always think that maybe during marriage they might stop but how sure are you? And what makes these girls continue having hope and not leaving their bad boyfriends? Even recent news, a girl can stand her abusive boyfriend for a year even before leaving him in hopes he will stop abusing her and become less possessive (he apparently restricted all contact with guys for the gf). They had some term for that abuse..hmm damn it can't remember now!

The old phrase (Nan Ren Bu Huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai) comes into place here. But that is definitely not in the case course i'm sure there are girls still who find nice guys to be with well considering my 2 army buddies haha they are the nice guys with i hope good girlfriends haha.

But it could be something about Singapore's society. We are to used too our comfort zone(me being one of them of course). And that could be at least one of the reasons i can think about it now. I mean one of my army friends has this female friend who has this bad boyfriend who obviously doesn't treat her very well but she sticks by him. The reason she gave my friend? She's comfortable with him or rather in a sense that it's been a long time and she refuses to change and move on.

Women, the mysterious creatures of earth.

Haha I should take note of the thing called comfort zone and take risks when i should. Of course after careful calculation first haha! Same goes for my police job. Trying something i'm not familiar with at all is risky but is worth it for fulfiling my childhood dream? When i put on the Military police badge i'm already fulfiled with a sense of pride! Haha..what more a real police one heh.

All right, 21st bdae here u come

SZ has 3 more hours to book in after his extended MC! :P

2009-02-23T20:31:00.002+08:00

Ah..damn shitty rotted my whole weekend away. MC extended till tomorrow as i still don't feel fighting fit at all. Constant heavy headache which totally sucks. Bah and i am missing 2 days of lessons damn fucked up.

The plus side is that it's reaching my bdae soon so! Can't wait for saturday. Time to talk to some of my pri/sec school and JC friends hehe! Catching up with a few of them will be not bad

2009-02-21T19:26:00.002+08:00

Ah bloody sore throat thus inducing my fever. Don't know why i have inflammation of my throat but it sucks...hope i feel better tomorrow to not take MC. I don't want to OOC from MP. They said the most is 5 days of ATTNC. Argh! Maybe i should have tried sleeping more after 28km route march. Slept only like less than 12 hours for 3 days...i don't think that was good for my health.

Anyway, alot of things can't be said about life in MP but i hope i learn loads from MP! It is also partially introducing some kind of police work to me :)

Also, MP gives me the pride of being one and i love the song :D
I don't think i can post the lyrics online haha! Oh well

Pride, Discipline, Honour

MPT Xie signing out

2009-02-15T22:44:00.004+08:00

Whew..after 28km march didn't sleep and went to Christine's 21st bdae party. Didn't really get to talk to her much when her good friends came! Nevermind at least i got to see her since i havent seen her for a while. Kok Rui and Eugene too haha! It's always good to meet my old friends! Anyway, going to her 21st bdae makes me think; do i want to celebrate mine too?

It's quite a hassle to organise one isn't it? I should just celebrate with my closer friends right? Stay tuned for any news of me organising one!

Whew, tomorrow's the book in day and i have to wake up at 0530! It's already 2250 and i'm still awake and have not taken a bath yet! Hahaha! I'm quite excited to get into MP! I don't care if people think it's a slack vocation or not! It's what i want to do..unless i get into the sucky vocation which is the drill squad..i think i'll suck thumb for the rest of my life till i ROD

Though it quite sucks because i'm supposed to meet my SISPEC section mates for kuishinbo tomorrow and i have to book in!!! And it'll be my first time eating at there if i could go! I hope we can book out! PLEASE!!

Unspoken words kept in the corners of your heart,
they become part of you,
but they do not eat into you.

That is how it should be.
For memories are but for remembrance,
that's all.

Anchoring in it just brings more sorrows,
but neither should it influence your actions.

The friendship that can only reach so far.
It can't go back to what it was.
This I must understand.

Letting go, Difficult? Yes.
Achievable? Yes

Wake up!
Your family, friends and the world is waiting for you.
With them, i'll never walk alone.

With that, SZ signing out

2009-02-14T13:25:00.003+08:00

Whew..the sispec phase of my life has passed...28km march was horrendously tiring now i have blisters on my feet..oh well! I managed to push myself to 28km when i only marched 16km previously :D That's quite an achievement i think. And besides that i finally passed my SOC hahaha! Woot!

Section 4 I'll miss you guys man, the tears from one of my section mate made me feel that he would try his best to keep in contact and organise outings for us..this is what i hope..because it's always sad to see my section mates disappear from me.

Anyway my new posting is out...i'm going to MP! Well i didn't get into CBRE..that's just a pay thing but frankly i've always wanted to go MP! At least i can experience some police life. I've already told myself if somehow i managed to get into MP, i'll take my consideration to be a police officer when i'm done with my studies seriously :D! Let's hope for all the best! In the meantime, Monday to book in and enjoy a new start!

2009-02-08T18:24:00.002+08:00

So that's another week gone and my SISPEC life is coming to an end. On saturday i'll know my posting..let's hope it's a good vocation. Nothing much over the week it was quite relaxed i think haha except SOC failed by 46 seconds damn it...i have got to run faster! The good thing was that i could finally clear low rope so it isn't so bad! This wednesday i shall try to conquer it which reminds me i have to bring my stopwatch inside camp to time myself for the run.

I'm going to miss my old section mates...but that's the sucky part right? I hardly contact my old section mates liao cause it's too busy for them..imagine 5 OCS it's really hard to coordinate outings bah...

Anyway enjoyed my this weekend, went to meet my old secondary school friends and at night supper with the close poly friends ahh..it seems i'm able to tahan tiredness more often now. The power of SISPEC haha!

Ahh..some things happened this week which got me thinking...but then i should just keep my mouth shut ba. Forget things, live my life and move on :)

Mommy is going for meditation retreat for 2 weeks..then in march she's going for 3 months...i'll miss her but when she's gone, i can take over grocery shopping :) Which will be quite fun.

Heh...and about uni i think i can only try for these 2 years after that probably try for Australia's uni..i hope i don't have to study there though it is effing expensive..but there's not much of a better choice right?

Heh all well, i'm going to stop thinking about all those stuffs and just enjoy the present for now! 28km march here i come!

SZ Out!

2009-02-01T20:16:00.002+08:00

Whew!!! Finally..all the tough major events are over..the rest should be a piece of cake! Yeah! 2 more weeks to passout..let's see where i go shall we...if ASLC then..good luck to me. I'll miss my BSLC section mates...speaking of which i haven't met my old section mates yet..must find time!

Anyway, Grandslam wasn't that bad just that the marching was quite chui haha can't say what i did there anyway if not i might get the attention of certain military personnel.

Didn't go out this week except to buy grocery stuff. Of course my main aim was to buy my own tidbits but nevertheless helping my family buy groceries is quite a nice feeling :D.

Gonna book in soon..don't have much to write this week..maybe i'll finally meet up with Joshua on saturday..it's been a longgg time secondary school buddy! It's been like 2 months since we met up!

Sz signing out

2009-01-27T20:20:00.002+08:00

Okay the holidays have gone wayyyyy too fast...why can't it be longer!! Grr! Anyway an uneventful weekend helping out with family chores(okay well not alot :P) Accompanied my mom for a walk and chit-chat after a meal(I should do that more often), visited relatives and basically slacked at home. Besides no one asked me out so i'm entitled to be a hermit :D

Feb 1st is the start of the entries to universities..i don't think i can get in but i'll try again until my ORD. If not, i think i'll take up the australian universities scholarships and study overseas. Heh..might be expensive but i'm willing to take up a loan for a better education. I just hope everything goes well...then again hugging a koala bear isn't such a bad idea either :P

It sure gets to me when i'm the only single one in the family and it just slaps right into my face during family gatherings where my brothers bring my girlfriends and i'm the lone guy. Haha..you'll start feeling quite empty but then again it disappears after a period of time. Maybe i'll end up like my SISPEC SGT who's still single at 26! Living an independent life and it's not that bad..if i really do end up in australia, i won't feel like i'm abandoning my gf if i even manage to find one hahaha!

Okay...wanderer + grandslam till saturday! Outfield all the way! I should be back by saturday for dinner..i hope..

SZ Signing out.

2009-01-23T18:09:00.004+08:00

Shagged like mad this week..it was really busy without much sleep. Let's just this week kinda sucked but i think next week will be worse! Oh well i can only just suck thumb. Then today just had ippt..ahh crap 221cm..like hell but i managed to do 12 pullups today think i could have pushed for 13 but nevermind i'll try next time :D

Later going for supper hope i don't fall sick..god damnned week...it's going to be shitty from now on...and i'm going to book out only on saturdays cause there's lessons on 7th feb and 14th feb then pass out...Argh..

SZ is SIANDED

2009-01-18T17:27:00.003+08:00

Whew...field camp was a breeze compared to tekong's. There wasn't any tekan and i didn't have to get dirty. It was just pure bliss. Just eating and doing FCO, it's a wonder i didn't get fat during field camp. Anyway glad that's over.

So i might get selected for CBRE after my SISPEC life..i hope it gets through though! That extra 300 dollars is mightily tempting. Besides the fact that it's probably a dangerous vocation still, i believe my life still has a long way to go so nothing will happen :D I did screw up at the puzzle part though..grr..was quite disappointed after that last part..oh well..hope it doesn't kill my chances.

Bought my first pair of onitzuka tiger shoe. I quite like it :) It's a little expensive but it's comfortable and i think if i maintain it, it'll last for a long time. Hope to get my second pair soon but that's only when i get my CBRE vocation :D

IPOD Touch 16gb will be in waiting! I need to save up!!

Game time has been cut very short as i'm making an effort to go out with friends and family which is a good sign! CNY is coming!! And i might be booking out on friday afternoon! So time to enjoy!!!

All right..time to get lost in the forest this week! Navigation here i come!

SZ nothing else!

2009-01-11T16:06:00.004+08:00

Went alone for to NTUC to buy things for army but decided to help my mom buy some groceries too since i was going anyway. First time picking fruits...the agony...i don't even know if i picked ripe and good fruits..oh well i can only hope it's good. Still it was a pretty enjoyable experience :D And i quite like it..hmm maybe next time i can go and buy groceries for my mom when i have time.

It's good training for myself too since when i'm older i definitely need to buy my own groceries Haha!

2009-01-11T10:45:00.003+08:00

Ah...it's been a hectic week for me...wednesday to saturday barely 6 hours each day. Night training till 9 plus and sleeping at 11 plus 12 plus at times. So you can say i'm pretty shagged out but since there's virtually nil amount of tekan, i feel that life here is still much much better than in tekong. Besides there's more freedom to do the stuff you want, like going to the canteen :D Use your initiative!

And tomorrow's my field camp well at least it ends on thursday..soo not that bad yah? In the meantime SZ is going to be uncontactable during those 4 days. Let's see how SISPEC's field camp is like compared to BMT's field camp.

Haha and i'm going to forget about the past and keep moving forward. I can't be there for everyone. There's a limit to how much care and concern i can give. So, SZ shall stop and do what he is supposed to do within the boundaries. Reflecting on your past mistakes is a double edged sword. For it helps to motivate you to prevent it from happening again or it makes you regret making the mistake and making you feel emotional every single time.

I should start living for myself instead but that doesn't mean i will become self conceited. It's more of doing the things i love and making myself happy. I have a right to choose what i can or cannot do, don't I? :)

退一步海阔天空。

SZ signing off.

2009-01-04T19:38:00.000+08:00

Ahhhh!!! I want to get my silver so i don't have to stay for CT man!! Stupid sbj! just jump 5 more cm man!! And why did my left leg had to be so back when i jumped the first time. That would have been 225cm! Stupid stupid stupid! Oh well. Nothing like staying back on saturdays and keeping fit right? Haha..although i've been eating quite a fair bit these 2 days..i don't think the exercise is gonna help me Hahaha!

Hopefully today's the last of the spring cleaning session for my family...i want to go out on sundays or at least be able to slack all the way!! The feeling of booking in is sooo sucky i need to get my mind off it.

Oh well, 6 more days to bookout. Guess training is going to up in tempo. I must be mentally prepared!

2009-01-01T09:51:00.005+08:00

First of Happy New Year's guys..we're all turning 21 soon. That means we'll be young adults this year! Yeah! No more parental control! Haha.

Anyway, decided to edit this post since i wrote very little. Shagged when i was writing this blog! 3.30 am then sleep and waking up after like only 6 hours of sleep was definitely not enough for me to write a post on my blog. Don't know why but recently i've just been feeling like something's missing..maybe i'm not having enough time with friends to keep myself occupied. Feeling empty when i'm alone. The shadow of JJ's death seems to upset me subconciously without me knowing but i know with time, i'll slowly forget it and then i'll be me again :).
All right for this year, i want to learn some new skill like maybe baking? Since you can do it yourself. I'll probably get a beginner's recipes book to bake. Heh that would be fun. In the meantime, i'm going Queensway shopping centre this Saturday (I hope) for chinese new year shopping! I want to buy some shoes and belt man. Borrowing from my siblings their belts sure seems to be quite lame. And i'll probably get another jeans if i have the money. Spend Spend Spend.

Anyway, been thinking of adopting the dogs at S.P.C.A ever since i've went there..it's been somewhere at the back of my mind nagging me to adopt one. I feel i should but i've got no time in army. If i were to adopt i don't think i can trust my second brother to take care of it and my maid is too busy to take care of it much. Ah..nevermind..i'll wait till i pass out from SISPEC and see how things go. That's till feburary and hopefully after that i get to some slack unit that allows me time to take care of it. Then i'll show my parents that i'm ready to take on the responsibility for the pet. It's time they trusted me! And i want to show them.

Darn, King's bounty the legend is highly addictive...i don't think i'll need to buy any games until i'm actually completed with it. Hours just pass by and i didn't even feel it. It's like an rpg HOMM style kind of game and it's so much more fun than HOMM. HOMM in my opinion was fun at the starting but as the game progressed, it got quite boring, since most of the time u ended up hoarding ur army in preparation for the ultimate attack. Whereas for King's bounty, you can explore the map and engage in its sidequests which is damn absorbing. Without a doubt if i could rate a game as GOTY, King's bounty would win thumbs down. No fight. Still i think people would rather get games like FO3 which is blasphemous to the original fallouts and calling it GOTY. They are saying it's a RPG but seeing the game itself, i think it fails as an rpg compared to the original fallouts. Oh well, money makes the world go round and reviewers have no qualms about betraying their souls for their livelihood.

Dah dah dah...hope i make it through another year. Enjoy myself as best as i can! Maybe some good things will come out from this year heh! Looking forward to it. Also, it's the year i turn 21...hmm a birthday party..should i or should i not hold it? I'll think about it.

Thinking of creating my gaming blog now. At least i have an avenue to keep writing and not let my english languish into the darkness. The standard is certainly dropping beyond reason. Hopefully, i'll try to improve my vocab in order to write better. Stay tuned this saturday for my first post.

SZ logging out.

2008-12-28T18:34:00.002+08:00

Ah..booking in today and booking out in 3 days time for new years eve. Then going for gathering. Ha...so many holidays and joyous occasions. In the meantime, i would like to isolate myself from the outside world until my bookout. Training would be tough and i wouldn't mind..at least there's still my new army friends :)

2008-12-27T23:06:00.002+08:00

Don't know what came over me...but after posting the previous entry, i just started crying..all the memories...the fact they took a promising guy like him instead of a person like me makes me even more sad that he had done nothing wrong to deserve such a fate.

I am not having low self-esteem but it was a fact that not only could he perform his tasks well during bmt and putting in the effort to learn every command from the bmt handguide when he was IC already showed his dedication to his role. Something which i don't think i'm able to do. People who didn't know him well from other sections thought he was Wayang, but he wasn't. He just takes his responsibility seriously. He moved like lightning when he was platoon IC. Even though we called him Wayang in our bunk for fun as he resumed his sluggish movement in bunk when he stopped being IC, i knew deep in my heart that he knew what to do just that without the responsibility, he just decided to take things at a slower pace.

I don't know if i want to attend his sending off tomorrow, i might break down if i see him being sent off in the hearse.

Also realised that at this point of time, i just can't think of anyone to find comfort in to talk too. Maybe i don't have any close friends..that i can pour my soul out too. Even if i had, i don't think i want to disturb the person. Heh.

SZ is just being emotional, this will not be the first time i know that for sure. Bah, i just hate this god damnned feeling.

2008-12-27T22:16:00.002+08:00

Life sure is fragile..you never know what will happen at anytime. Maybe you meet up with your friend and see him today but next week, he's lying in a coffin. That's exactly what happened to my section mate, my bed buddy in bmtc. I'm pretty shocked he's gone, as i was hoping he would have woke up from his coma. Imagine we were chilling out on Saturday and Sunday he was involved in an accident by a bloody fucking drunk driver who banged his bike. He ended up in a coma and when i was able to book out for the christmas holiday, i went to visit him in hospital. It was a saddening sight seeing him hooked up onto life support. Just stationary looking like he's in alot of pain. Told him to fight hard and wake up ASAP so as to ask me to clean my rifle (Ah..it's a long story but he sleep talks that's all you need to know) and telling him to wake up so that we can meet up soon. Little did i know that will be the last time i see for the next thing you know, he was declared brain dead on friday and his family decided to pull the plug for his lifesupport.

Going to his funeral today was emotional as this is the first time i'm attending a friend's funeral. Seeing the family members and his girlfriend makes me feel it's such a pity that a guy who is only in his 20s, makes me wonder what had he done to deserve such a fatal accident. I just hope they are able to take it and move on in time.

Thinking about the memories of him with us in bmt almost brings tears to my eyes. Though it was a short 3 months knowing him, we've went through thick and thin together. It's so sudden that he'll never smile, laugh, talk, move, etc again. I just hope that wherever he is at now, he'll always be at peace.

May your loved ones get through these difficult times. See them through wherever you are. Protect them. If you can read this in heaven, if you ever need help from us to help your loved ones, find us in our dreams. I'm sure each and everyone of our section mates will do whatever we can to help them.

Hong Jun Jie. Ulysses 4309. You will be missed. R.I.P.

To all those who are reading this post, please cherish your loved ones or if you had anything you wanted to say and have been holding back, please please just say it out. The person you see today, might not exist tomorrow. Don't wait till it's too late and then you regret.

2008-12-21T23:43:00.002+08:00

Wooo...tmr is the start of my SISPEC training...why is it at boonlay..damn far away la! Anyway, let's see which wing i get posted too and who'll be my new buddy. Quite excited to know all these stuff.

Ah..i'll miss my bmt mates and my civilian life heh..and i'll miss msning..oh wellz! Wednesday booking out yeah! Back to armyz

2008-12-19T21:44:00.002+08:00

So..i finally got my posting and am now a SGT trainee. Okay it's not that great and there's not much pride as compared to OCS but still i don't mind.

Alot has been going through my mind recently...whether i'm serious about joining the police force as a job after i graduate from uni...things my mom said, whether i want to adopt a dog can i be responsible towards it etc...still i have not let them affect my training schedule heh. Running, swimming..all in preparation for the upcoming SOC in SISPEC. My fitness is definitely not there..i need to work harder..maybe one day i can pass the SOC in SISPEC. Here's hoping...

Thoughts and more thoughts

2008-12-10T21:33:00.000+08:00

Motivation to succeed. What causes a person to think about his future and how determined he is to make it succeed. I just can't fathom how people actually do that or how successful people do that. Were they made to think like winners? I bet they were, or they met with some hardship which they never would want to experience in their life.

I wouldn't call myself a winner cause i don't think i am and neither would i call myself a loser, since i'm surely not one. I'm just stranded in the middle nothing outstanding or notorious. Just a plain Joe who doesn't feel the need to have success or allow himself to be useless. Such is my life as i think about it now. Is there anything that will tilt the balance and push me to either side? At least, i won't be so confused with myself.

Thoughts.

2008-11-30T15:16:00.000+08:00

Whew...havent gone out for quite some weeks liao..am i becoming more and more of a hermit? Or i am just lazy to go out with car nowz...haha gahhhh no car no motivation to go out haha...anywayz..its almost time for pop then i'll be free until 21st or 22nd Dec..so it'll be damn shiok woo..gonna enjoy myself with almost 2 weeks of time.

Anyway last week had bbq at west coast park as it was eugene's bdae. Had some fun and it was good meeting up with my poly mates. Drank 1.5L of water in one shot..and i was the winner!!! That was a very retarded challenge by YX since he himself didnt drink finish and he was the one who was challenging..Grr.

And finally i can pass IPPT...stupid SBJ if not i can get silver...oh wellz.

Now pondering whether i want to get an Ipod Touch and YW says it's cheap in australia and he's going there for 2 weeks of air grading...hmmm...

2008-11-05T17:16:00.000+08:00

Returned from field camp on Monday, it should be literally called the hell camp but i must admit, I am lucky to be in Ulysses company as it's really welfare. Imagine eating pop tarts and cakes on the third day of field camp lol...and our field camp was 5 days instead of 6 BIC starts on another day keke. Anyway, i am definitely able to push myself more now that i've been through field camp so i can say it's pretty rewarding. Go! Go!

SIT test will be on thursday or friday and that means another bloody weekend burnt and that means i dun have to meet cheese or yx anytime soon lol..oh well..saves some cash in the meantime.

My past failures have kept dictating my life and i don't want that to happen anymore. I need to acknowledge my mistakes so that i can learn and not repeat them again. I shouldn't be worried about making my mistakes and hate myself for it. As long as i learn and stop repeating the mistake, i will slowly improve. I might be at ground zero now below the rest, but someday, i'll catch up with everyone. Heh.

All right booking in again...SIT test here i come..everything's gonna be over..

2008-10-26T08:40:00.000+08:00

Bahh did only 7 pullups for ippt couldn't reach my 8 which i pulled i was able to pull few days back..but nvm...since i was training for my pullups it was natural my muscles havent totally recovered. Anyway stayed on saturday to do RT while those buggers who passed got to book out early...and i stayed cos of 4 cm for sbj wtf..my technique really needs working..but it's also OTOT time for gym. I need to do the leg press to up my leg power. My aim now is to jump a silver grade for SBJ and a gold grade for pullups which is 12 by the end of BMT. I can do it!! It's just 4 more for pullups and around 20 cm for sbj...hmm

2008-10-18T18:23:00.000+08:00

如果我能看得見

就能輕易的分辨白天黑夜

就能準確的在人群中牽住你的手

如果我能看得见
就能驾车带你到处遨游
就能惊喜的从背后给你一个拥抱
如果我能看得见
生命也许完全不同
可能我想要的我喜欢的我爱的
都不一样
眼前的黑不是黑
你说的白是什么白
人们说的天空蓝
是我记忆中那团白云背后的蓝天
我望向你的脸
却只能看见一片虚无
是不是上帝在我眼前遮了帘
忘了掀开
你是我的眼
带我领略四季的变换
你是我的眼
带我穿越拥挤的人潮
你是我的眼
带我阅读浩瀚的书海
因为你是我的眼
让我看见这世界就在我眼前

Everytime i listen to to this song, i feel that somehow i should have done something instead of waiting for a sign. Still i love this song :D

2008-10-18T18:07:00.000+08:00

Aiming to go OCS or at least SISPEC doesn't seem to be working well for me..i keep screwing up by making new mistakes...correcting the old ones i make i make new ones again..it's getting tiring as i want to prove myself but yet at the same time i don't have the ability to make it happen...well whatever it is. I have lots of learning to do..regardless of what people say about me i will push forward and keep improving..i may start at ground zero now but if i slowly move from ground zero instead of remaining there, slowly but surely i'll improve.

Eyes that see but are blind.
Ears that hear but are deaf.
Mind that works but does not think.

No one is going to get me down..and whatever shit that gets thrown back at me, i'll keep moving forward.

2008-10-04T14:43:00.000+08:00

Like finally i have the feel to blog..probably since i don't get the touch the comp like 24 hours a day..and i'm suffering from some computer withdrawal symptoms and one of them is the urge to blog wahaha.

Okay firstly one most important thing I HAVE NOT FALLEN SICK YET IN ARMY WOOHOO! This could be due to sleeping very early and not bathing at like 1-2 am in the morning...well some people do that and don't get sick but that's probably cause they have a better constituition than me.

Although i did a stupid thing like kicking my own toe onto the bed and was out for 3 days of training. Sitting at the side you'd feel like shit cause you'd rather be doing the PT instead of sitting down and doing nothing. Well in any case i don't want to miss any PT lessons so please no more injuries and falling sick.

Time in army really flies exactly like how one of the officers said. Just blink blink and a few weeks will pass by..and behold, this is my 2nd book out. However, I'm not really going out cause nothing much for me to do and stuff like playing pool does not interests me at all since all i want is to eat good food but unfortunately i've sworn off supper..so that means i only eat 3 meals a day period.

Army life isn't that bad except you can feel yourself becoming stupid by the minute cause all you do is to just echo out the last few words lol. Kanna tekaned also not that bad cause everyone gets tekaned with you but of course don't be the black sheep that always causes people to kanna tekaned your life will not be good. Also, you'll be disconnected from the outside world like i only just knew like 1 week ago about the AIG incident and that's cause my army buddy's girlfriend told him about it which he relayed to me.

Aim at the end of BMT is to get at least a Silver for IPPT. Achievable.

Hmm can't think of anything else to update but hopefully i can update more soon.

2008-06-17T20:09:00.001+08:00

Money..they are the most valuable pieces of paper that ensure your survival in the world. Gone are the days where money wasn't as important. It's now either you have it or die without it. The optimistic look i once had is long gone. Money is bloody important. You pay every single thing with it and if you don't earn enough, we can only hope that we don't fall sick. With today's medical expenses, heck it might wipe out a year's salary if it's bad. Yet, i don't know how to go about earning the big bucks. ..probably with my current ambition, i might just be able to eke out a living and hope that i never ever have to visit the hospital for something serious. 40 more years before i can retire and relax. I don't know how my life is going to look like but in any case prolly a 3 room flat with no car is the most likely scenario.

2008-06-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

Friends do i have any? Considering the fact i don't get any smses 7 days a week, it just goes to show i don't. Msn? I hardly talk to anyone. Well frankly i dun really care anymore. Losing my buddy from sec school...drifting from poly skl mates. It's all okay..with my low cash reserves i don't mind not entertaining anyone as i have to spend money every single time...well it also gives me extra incentive to work OT. After all it does take my mind on alot of things..kinda gloomy thinking about my future prospects.

2008-06-07T14:47:00.000+08:00

Never felt so tired working before..but working in a warehouse is tiring. Never wanting to go out and the free time you have, you just want to be by yourself and enjoy your free time. Well, it ain't so bad, i'm seriously saving alot of money. Changing routes by taking bus. A little longer but worth the money 2.80 prolly for a day's trip coupled with 3-4 dollars for lunch. Around 7-8 per day. So i am saving a little bit but frankly its not enough. The low pay sucks. Well they just reduced headcount to 6 people and not just that next week will be busy. So OT here we go and straight home to the soft comfy bed.

It's amazing when one earns a pitiful pay he becomes a miser. And that has also made me become less eager to go out. The cost of going out could be one day's wages gone just like that. Besides, if i should go australia to study one day i should have some money to support part of the costs of going aussie. Relying totally on my parents is kinda fuked up and i shouldn't be that kind of person.

2008-05-29T18:49:00.000+08:00

Work has been fulfilling but yet at the same time upon reaching home, a sense of fatigue just overwhelms me and i just don't want to do anything except stay home use the comp and go to bed early. Going out after work is even more physicially exhausting. Maybe it's because i'm working at a warehouse so it's more physicially demanding..i don't know..but sigh..wished people won't force me to go out.

Finally graduated from Ngee Ann but yet there wasn't much to be happy about. Always getting mind provoking questions about my future from my parents. It's making my life miserable, because i don't know what i want and yet they keep forcing me to make a decision. I have like 2 more years but they don't seem to understand that..but it's expected i mean what can a diploma grad do? And besides my parents are biased against SIM so that's another problem..bahh..never mind..work will limit interaction with them..after all my phone has no reception at the warehouse..and that's kinda good..9 hours of being cut off from the outside world everyday is not too shabby.

To my friends..sorry if i don't have time for you guys..its really tiring at work and i don't want to tire myself out even further by not resting early when i'm home. Even though it's a part time job i don't want to fall asleep or be underpar in my work performance.

And to those that i've neglected when i had the free time..even more sorry. I know i'm a selfish bastard.

2008-05-23T08:32:00.000+08:00

Looking back in your 20 years of life i can only say nothing has been achieved. Want to count the ways sure. First of all, looks, fail. Studies, fail. Character-wise, fail. Games-wise, fail. Riches, fail. Talents, fail. All these just goes to show that your life is a failure. Didnt take me long to realise that when my SATS got a fuked up score..i have no idea what happened. Whatever it is i'm going to retake it until i get a good score for SMU. Even then, it doesn't mean i can get into SMU. Bah...

2008-03-09T00:17:00.000+08:00

Hahaa!! Okay so this is a damn late post but still..i would like to give a MILLION thanks to everyone who has wished me happy birthday or who has given me presents..well..not alot i received still..thank you all.

Gahh..braces...a tiny device meant to torture people whom enjoy eating..ahh well i had no choice to put them on. Mainly my teeth weren't stable so that made me require to wear braces to correct the teeth if not, when i'm 30 to 40, my teeth will spoil..somehow it already seems to be coming true! Better safe than sorry! :D Well hopefully after 2 years i can remove it and then i'll have straight and stable teeth!

2008-02-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

Well i've been back for nearly 3 weeks now and i guess all i can say is that i've been having lots of fun.

However to move on to more important things such as my exercises its getting much better. I can see the improvement not just from my body shape but also the stronger feeling i get with each passing day and the fact i can keep pushing up the amount done every 2 or 3 days. That to me motivates me to do even more. However, running remains much to be desired but somehow i get the feeling my legs are getting stronger which of course i shall run every other day instead of resting for 2 days now. This should probably last 2 weeks and hopefully i can start running every day..not going to be easy though..but i shall try..napfa silver is awaiting me. I'm not going to waste 2 additional months staying in army damn it...

And to the term saying friends over hoes is total bullcrap...whoever created this term is one disillusioned personnel. Men all around the world treat their girlfriends as first and friends as backup when time allows unless there's a special occasion for the friend. Just pricked why we men are such total assholes..oh well.

Reminder!

2008-01-14T16:09:00.000+08:00

Well talking to yw invoked alot of feelings about time left. Especially relevant for time left with my parents. Well not cursing them hell not..i've always wished my life was shorter to give them better health and a longer life but i have to be realistic i guess. My parents are already in the their late 50s and they well only have like 20-30 more years with me. Do i want to spend my years wasting time away and only having them leave and regretting? I think not.

I solemnly swear that i Xie Shangzhao will help in any way that i can to accompany my parents be it for a short while or for grocery shopping. Grocery shopping, i'll help my mom with it whenever she goes there or when my parents go for sunday walks at mac ritchie, i will at least follow them there take a run but i won't follow them for breakfast of course..think of all the annoying uncles and aunties whom will just comment on my hair..jolly irritating.
Well..there isn't much time left and i don't want to leave them with just an unfilial child. The least i could do is just to accompany them.

There's more to life than just games and friends and they are my parents.
Cherish it...or you'll miss it.

2008-01-11T12:04:00.000+08:00

LOL! YX I do read your blogs man..what the hell is that link LOL! Oh man you sucks..LOL! Nevermind after the training by YW I am currently immune to that LOL you need to show some flaws so i can retaliate..

Oh man...3 more weeks...time is flying by...and the 2nd week will end so quickly as i'm going Xi an! Woohoo!! Will post pictures of Xi An asap..well..at least after the 22nd lol

2008-01-10T15:52:00.000+08:00

Oh man as i said i can't tag back so i have to post an entry to reply hahaha..

Yx: OH MAN! LOL! Sucks..down liao..only left with cheez..i've hit an all time low.

Emily: Haha nope not going..haha i decided to skip prom haha it's expensive and none of my friends going haha...LOL maybe you can see me going school to laugh at you all when you guys having exams ba LOL!

YW: oh man don't lie...you have a carrot eating friend & target LOL! Arrowhead Arrowhead! LOL! Okayz the arrowhead joke is kept strictly between u and me LOL