It's time i've stopped trying to be concerned over people whom will never reciprocate. I'll focus on my friends and family now. They deserve my care and concern more than others.

My bro is back from his 2 week foreign exchange trip and his back with a girlfriend from one of the students whom went to China too. Although i suspected the girl to be his gf even before they went to China, he always denied it. He was always talking on the phone late into the nights to the same person so naturally it was suspicious. Haha my 25 year old bro finally managed to find one and settle down. Haha but must say they have fu qi lian so here's wishing to see her around our house soon enough.


Removed previous post due to people thinking i'm emo =)

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

(Savage Garden: I knew i loved you)

How apt the description is. And it all just seems to be talking about my feelings.

Why do i seem so dependent on others?
As much as i would like to think that i'm independent, i'm still dependent on my family and friends.
I can't seem to do much things on my own.
It all seems so sad.
With 19 years of age to my belt, i don't seem to have matured.
How long more will this dependence stop? It all seems so long.

And how long more will i fail to get the pass i need so badly

Light oh light,
Where have you gone.
For the past 19 years you've disappeared.
Will you now appear,
to shine a path for me?
I will follow you till the ends of the earth.
Oh, where have you gone...

PPP is the ultimate boring lesson in the world. Waste time and my time meaning sleeping time. Wake up early in the morning just to hear them talk. I rather buy the book and save time and read it myself when i'm going for job applications next time. I think the lecturer was quite pissed also. We weren't listening and when she asked questions no one could answer. Some did try but nevertheless it was a futile effort.

Thank god after that went to yx's house. Played some crazy winning eleven. Got trashed 4-0 and 6-0 respectively by yx. Cheez didnt win any of the games with me LOL but then he got win yx dunno why. Soul calibur 2 is gay especially raphael. Cannot win de loh super jian. LOL yx thanks for the chicken rice lunch. I ATE THE MOST I KNOW LOL. And after 3 times coming to ur house i finally know how the heck ur sister looks like. And ur 2nd brother also lol. Damn style la ur family car got gps somemore hahaa

Hmm i wanna write some random things over here.

Arms drooping,
Eyes closing,
Tired i feel,
Loneliness comes,
Sadness creeps in,
Friends may help,
But with (blank) I'll never feel this way.

Haha BLANK cos no one is inside yet. This might take years for it to be filled up.

Hahaa. Lucky SZ i am. I'm damn lucky. After injuring my leg, i kanna flu and now my voice change. Wah thanks. My luck is beyond what ordinary mortals have. Missing buses when i'm on the other side of the road, not having a taxi and then crossing on the other side to get taxi then the previous side the taxi come. And yet i managed to survive haha. It's times like this i would think that many times at important periods of time my luck will come back. In PSLE, in O levels, and now i've used it all up in poly haha. When my luck comes back one day, i'm sure it'll be another important event like my marriage. I know it sounds kind of weird coming from a 19 year old. But in the past people married at the age of 18? 17? Haha. If i can't go uni then i'll prolly come out and work after army. Hopefully by 26-27 i can settle down and get married. Maybe many people want to plan out for their children's future but from the file that my friend sent me it works with my philosophy. "The more you plan in life, the less likely you will experence chance, therefore live life to the fullest".

I will try stop being passive and not having the things i want. It's time to move on. I shall start. But first i need a chance.

DEAR LEG

Omg..the doctor said luckily i go see him if not next time my leg might be crooked. I didn't know such a small knock can cause my whole leg to die haha. He say my injury damn serious internal swelling. Knocked some bone or something then after that everything just went downhill from there.

Tmr not going sch liao rest at home ba haha. Still have to see him for the next few days. Lets hope it heals quickly

SBC Theme song

词：林隆璇
曲：林隆璇
你仿佛从没见过我 只是让我梦成空
伤心 不语 退缩
幻想也许是你假装不看我
让我得不到更珍惜所有
我试着对你微微笑 你总视而不见
何必 何必 何必
却又难以抗拒难以放弃
就算你对我说别再烦我
你难以靠近 难以不再想念
我难以抗拒你容颜
把心画在写给你的信中
希望偶而能够见到你微笑的容颜
你难以靠近 难以不再想念
我难以抗拒你容颜
把心画在写给你的信中
希望明天能够见到你会心的容颜
我试着对你微微笑 你总视而不见
何必 何必 何必
却又难以抗拒难以放弃
就算你对我说别再烦我
你难以靠近 难以不再想念
我难以抗拒你容颜
把心画在写给你的信中
希望偶而能够见到你微笑的容颜
你难以靠近 难以不再想念
我难以抗拒你容颜
把心画在写给你的信中
希望明天能够见到你会心的容颜
你难以靠近 难以不再想念
我难以抗拒你容颜
把心画在写给你的信中
希望偶而能够见到你微笑的容颜
你难以靠近 难以不再想念
我难以抗拒你容颜
把心画在写给你的信中
希望明天能够见到你会心的容颜
你难以靠近 难以不再想念
我难以抗拒你容颜
把心画在写给你的信中
希望明天能够见到你会心的容颜
你仿佛从没见过我 只是让我梦成空
For all the SBC Members who fail to be attached this is our song for you.

WHY OH WHY LEG

Sz: Lalalala, i'm only 19 yr old and i'm happy that i can walk!
*BANG*
Leg: KNN CCB the merc door damn hard can.
Sz: Don't worry la nothing de.

Next day,
Sz: Wah lau eh cooperate lei leg, i can hardly bend now
Leg: Wah sian man i think i internal bleeding lei. You're on your own
Sz: *in agony* Fuk walking down or up stairs damn xin ku can?
Leg: Nvm la tmr go see doctor see how is it la. I'm the one suffering not you okay.
Sz: Okay okay. Whatever

LOL if my leg was alive this would be the conversation i'll be having with him right now. Okay la not to sexually discriminate, talking to her right now also.

Haiz i dunno what happened to my leg today. After bumping the taxi door yesterday, today wake up my leg omg. Bending is an agony. Climbing stairs is an agony. Its bloody irritating. Sigh i just hope tmr the doctor can tell me i injure where. Ma fan! Arghh!!

Piggy piggy piggy, Slept 2 hrs nap again and skipped lecture. And i'm still on msn chatting lol. I think i'm becoming damn slack oh well. Not that i will do anything about it. haha.

Cheerio

Another day

Ah booked the wrong driving lessons today i booked AUTO WTF!! YES I"M THAT DUMB and now i'm stuck with no driving lessons. I think its just a sign i'm going to fail again. Luckily today got extra car then can drive manual if not i die. On a postive note, i drove the new car the sch has. Damn, freaking easy to drive man. I love it..if i had such a manual car i wouldn't mind driving manual. Oh well

Today went TOA PAYOH AGAIN! Man i keep getting tied to toapayoh. Did the usual stuff eat,pool and arcade. Damn lifeless can but not much chance to meet up with them anyway after all they in army so bo bian. And liye stop rubbishing and say want to intro girls to me lol. I anti social one u think i will want to know them meh. Besides i dunno how to talk much so also quite pointless to ask me to know more people. AND JOSH ALSO STOP ASKING ME TO ASK THE STALL OWNER'S DAUGHTER FOR HER NUMBER. I"M NOT SUCH A GUY. I don't know how to anyway. hahaha.

AND YES MM I BOUGHT UR NOUGATS I KEPT MY PROMISE HAHA. But i'll be eating them hahaa none for u =D

I've been totally procasinating on my tutorials, this is bad when common test is coming . I dunno how man..argh.

Anyway thank you yw and christine for saying such nice things about me. I always thought i was quite a sensitive guy but frankly no one has said about it so i thought i was just delusioning myself. When you all said such things i was pretty touched and i felt that for once in my life i was for once useful. As for yw i think its pretty difficult for me to open up to people. That's why unless people are in my class i can't talk much. But i will try la. I don't want to be single for the rest of my life either haha. Although ur recent talks with me make me feel like i deserve to have one but i think i'm still insensitive to people's needs at times. Maybe i'm just insecure and not confident ba. hahaha

All right signing off le take care all

Another conversation

Haha and it seems they patched up. And yes thats good news isnt it? =D

Anyway, Yw since i asked you to view my blog just now about my being emo yesterday, i think christine always says the good things about me because i think she hopes you can learn how to take note of those small things to make her happy. Haha that way she has the yw whose not only enjoyable but a caring one and there here's wishing you 2 blissfulness =D.

Tears will dry,
Wounds will heal,
Scars are left,
But love?
It's everlasting.
Cherish it.

Haha yw i write for you one but i don't know if it makes sense or not haha. Just trying my luck at writing.

Wahaha my dad's comp fan spoilt i think lol when he on comp got chao tar smell he still can ask me why got smell lol basket later his comp explode then he know. Luckily i asked him to quickly off if not jia lat. Must buy new comp but then again that's not such a bad thing =D. Soon Vista will be a must have man. Hope my dad upgrades soon. The 3 comps all abit sot sot liao. Only a matter of time before all 3 die.

COMMON TEST IN 1 MONTH!! DOOM DOOM!! Time for some doom td which me yx and cheez played today lol. Really doomed

Nearly made a stupid mistake twice

Haha seems like something has happened in a relationship but i don't dare to ask and of course you might say i'm a coward but i haven't talk to her in months. Though i don't like her anymore, seeing how such a thing happens i cannot help but be concerned for her. I wanted to send an sms to comfort her but i lost her number after my phone died and i havent asked her for her number since.

But its okay i was never good with comforting people anyway. So i decided not to repeat the msg i wanted to send to her in msn. Though i know if having a long lost aquantince to suddenly comfort you when you're sad, it'll be weird and i doubt it'll help anyway. Haha i'm glad i curbed myself. It's time i rationalized and stop dreaming.

Nowadays my dad and my mom's relationship with me has been better and i realise i only get touchy when they remind me of studying. They've stopped reminding me as much but i still feel i failed them somehow. I just hope the times i've tried to make my mom laugh will ease her feelings of being hurt by me all the time. My dad and i hardly talk but his happier this few days. Maybe his job is working well hopefully